


park chanyeol is straight

by mochiho (pining)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Baekhyun is a sinner, Beagle Line - Freeform, Butlers, Ferrets, Humor, M/M, Pining, Skype, but we all know this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:46:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7461771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pining/pseuds/mochiho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>park chanyeol is straight:</b>  i need his d*ck asap<br/><b>no im not:</b> why did you censor that<br/><b>park chanyeol is straight:</b> because its before noon and im not a sinner like u<br/><b>no im not:</b>youve literally fucked someone in a church<br/><b>park chanyeol is straight:</b> THERE WASN”TA SERVICE RUNNING AND HE WS HOT</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. park chanyeol is straight has come online!

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fucking mess im sorry  
> 

_September 23rd 2016_

_11:38 A.M._

**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANY EOL  
**no im not:** WHAAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** GUESS WhHO I JUST SAW  
**no im not:** WHO WAS IT KYUNGSOO DID HE LOOK GOOD FUCK HE PROBABLY LOOKED GOOD DID YOU TAKE A PIC FOR ME//?? BAEK TELL ME YOU GOT A PIC PLESE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** STOP BEING GAY FOR ONE SEC OKAY ITS MY TURN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IT WASNT KYUNGSOO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IT WAS YIXING  
**no im not:** HES IN YOUR CLASS OF COURSE YOU SAW HIM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SHUT UP H E LOOKED GOOD 

_park chanyeol i straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CnAprcuUkAAF03Y.jpg)

**no im not:** oh shiiiiiiittttt man  
**no im not:** he does look god  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he does look god doesn’t he  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  i need his d*ck asap  
**no im not:** why did you censor that  
**park chanyeol is straight:** because its before noon and im not a sinner like u  
**no im not:** youvee literally fucked someone in a church  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THERE WASN”TA SERVICE RUNNING AND HE WS HOT  
**no im not:** he wasnt  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he was :-I  
**no im not:** :-l  
**park chanyeol is straight:** :-l  
**no im not:** :-l  
**park chanyeol is straight:** :-l  
**no im not:** :-l

_[cut for length]_

_September 24th 2016_

_1:47 P.M._

**no im not:** baekhyun  
**no im not:**?/  ?//  
**no im not:** baekhyun  
**no im not:** baekhyun  
**no im not:** baekhyun  
**no im not:** BAEKHYUN  
**no im not:** gues who i just saw with yixing  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHO  
**no im not:** lol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur cruel park chanyeol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what do u want  
**no im not:** ok so u know how kyungsoo is perfect and hot an d super smart and stuff  
**park chanyeol is straight:** youve made me aware of this yes  
**no im not:**  WELL i just saw him in the library  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why is this news isnt he there evertday  
**no im not:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT  
**no im not:** HES THERE EVERDAY AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CAN YO U CHILL YOURE NOT A STALKER  
**no im not:** i know >:( i just want 2 to talk to him but i never see him  
**park chanyeol is straight:** well did you talk to him u just saw him  
**no im not:** lol no  
**no im not:** :(  
**no im not:** he was with jongin  
**no im not:** r they dating  
**park chanyeol is straight:** jongin is dating sehun ???  
**no im not:** he is???/???? / / o  
**park chanyeol is straight:** youre roommates with sehun .. how did u not know this  
**no im not:** i dnt pay attention to who sehuns fucking bro  
**park chanyeol is straight:** still  
**no im not:** okay so thats 1 male off the list  
**park chanyeol is straight:** u hve a list??  
**no im not:** OF COURSE i need 2 know if hes single  
**park chanyeol is straight:** just ask him  
**no im not:** yeah okay go ask yixing if he’s single  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ….  
**no im not:** thats what i thought

_September 26th 2016_

_12:21 P.M._

**no im not:** sehun hs jongin over  
**no im not:** im going to kms  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why r u telling me  
**no im not:** BECAUSE YOU MADE ME AWARE THAT THEY WERE DATING AND NOW I ACTUALLY NOTICE IT AND WHY DOES HE COME OVER SO MUCH IM TRYING TO WRITE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what are u writing  
**no im not:** im sufferin with  a large pair of headphone on and two pillows taped on top of them and u dont care ??? i  can still hear them ???/? i hate this  
**no im not:** but im writing $$$  
**park chanyeol is straight:** money??  
**no im not:**  wait what  
**no im not:**  why did i think that was a music symbol  
**no im not:**  im writing lyrics rn  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is this one about kyungsoo too  
**no im not:** I HAVENT WRITTEN ANY SONGS ABOUT KYUNGSOO  
**no im not:**  but do you think he would like it if someone did?? im jw cause i could write one .. if he liked that stuff can u ask him tomorrow thnks baek

_September 27th 2016_

_8:47 P.M._

**no im not:** are you ever going to change your name  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why wouldi  do that  
**no im not:** bc im not straight >:( titties scare me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** youre straight i know it youre just pretending to be gay bc u want to be friends with me i know u touched a tit once  
**no im not:** i was an accident D; im not stright i weould never lie to you like t his i like dix i want to suck kyungsoos  
**park chanyeol is straight:** stop lying ur just making this worse its okay if youre straight me and sehun will still love u !! u can come out ok its a safe place !!  
**no im not:**  never im gay im going 2 suck a dick right now ive already sucked 10 today

_9:07 P.M._  
  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im not changing it  
**no im not:** dont u talk to family on this account  
**park chanyeol is straight:** and??  
**no im not:** …

_10:34 P.M._  
  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i forgot to tell u  
**park chanyeol is straight:** kyungsoo sat 2 seats over from in class today and i asked him  
**no im not:**.. asked him what  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i asked him if he liked music thats what u wanted me to ask him right  
**no im not:** i fucking Hate you of course he likes msuic u dumbass hes inyour fucking class i wanted yo uto ask if he would ever want someone to write a song for him  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  that makes more sense  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he said yes tho  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he also asked what i was doing on my laptop  
**no im not:** were you watching porn  
**park chanyeol is straight:** no  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i was just going thru this chat  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he doesnt know what skype is what a loser  
**not im not:** hes not a loser  
**park chanyeol is straight:** whatever

_September 29th 2016_

_12:14 P.M._  
  
**no im not:** AHHHHH  
**no im not:**  AHHHHHHHHHH  
**no im not:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**no im not:** BAEK BAEK  BA KE UK BAEK BEAK  
**no im not:**  OH MY GO D I KNOW YOURE ONLINE OPEN THIS HCAT RIGHT NOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  did you finally accept that youre stragiht  
**park chanyeol is straight:** cause im here for you  
**no im not:**  NO THE OPPOSITE  
**no im not:** IM SO GAY RIGHT NOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what happ  
**no im not:** I WAS AT THE LIBRBRAY  
**no im not:**  **THE LIBRARRRU  
**no im not:**  ***THE LIBRARY  
**no im not:**  ANYWAYS I WAS T THE LIBRARY WORKING (SLEEPING) BECASUE JONGIN WAS OVER AGAIN AND SO YAH I WAS SLEEPING AT ONE OF THE DESKS WITH MY HEADPHONES IN AND SOMEONE TAPPED ME ON THE SHOULDER GUESS WHO IT WAS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** was it ji soo that really hot actor  
**park chanyeol is straight:** cause hes hot  
**no im not:** BE SERIOUS  
**no im not:** IT WAS KYUNGSOO  
**no im not:** HE WAS SMILING THAT CUTE LITTLE SMILE WHEN I TURNED AROUND HE LAUGHED AT ME I WAS DROOLING THATS SO EMBARRASSING ANYWAY YEAH HE HAD HIS LAPTOP AND HE WANTED TO KNOW IF I KNEW HOW TO SET UP SKYPE AND I DO SO I HELPED HIM  
**no im not:**  I TALKED TO KYUNGSOO  
**no im not:** HES SO PRETTY IM SO GAY

_[ cut for length ]_

**no im not:** AND HIS SMILE OH MY GOD  
**no im not:** FUCK I ALSO GAVE HIM MY NUMBER HE WANTED IT SO I GAVE IT TO HIM

_1:57 P.M._  
  
**no im not:**  HELP  
**no im not:**  ABORT  
**no im not:** ABORT ABORT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** DID HE TEXT YOU  
**no im not:** YES HE DID FUCK  
**no im not:**  FUCK HE ASKED IF HE COULD ADD ME ON SKYPE  
**no im not:** IM DELETING YOU AS A FRIEND  
**no im not:** IM DELELTING THIS CHAT  
**no im not:** IM FUCK IM REMOVING SKYPE FROM YM COMPUTER  
**no im not:**  IF HE ASKS I WAS NEVER A STUDENT HERE  
**no im not:** I DONT EXISTS ANYMORE IM LEAVNG

_3:45 P.M._  
  
**no im not:** i gave it to him


	2. byun baekhyun fakes his death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of death, cheating, blood, suicide, misuse of textbooks, naruto running, and disoriented mr.krabs  
> lets get wildt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this lame ass word count  
> follow me on twitter @ junmyeoin

_October 1st 2016  
_ _12:00 A.M._

 **park chanyeol is straight:** happy fist gay of hallowen  
**park chanyeol is straight:** *halloween  
**no im not:** that was the most problematic typo in that sentence to you??

_9:11 A.M.  
_

**no im not:** baekhyun im actually freaking out right now  
**no im not:** im going to die  
**no im not:** i sent him my skype acc  2 days ago  
**no im not:** and he still hasnt added me or responded or the text  
**no im not:** what if he decided he didnt want to add me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is that a bad thing  
**no im not:** YES  
**no im not:** wtf if he doesnt add me we wont ever talk on here and then we wont become friends then fall inlove and get married and grow old  together in an old persons bungalow because our bones will be old person bones and theyll break a lot so we cant really go up nd down the stairs but its ok bc kyungsoo is cute nd his old person bones will be cute too  
**park chanyeol is straight:** well dont expect me 2 be friend with you two i want to die when im like 30 because any older than that then everything will start sagging and i’ll be ugly so yeah come to my funeral make sure everyone is crying and then from then on make sure no one is ever happy again and make sure its because im not there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
**no im not:** yixing will be sad u might be together by then mayb u 2 can form a suicide pact  
**park chanyeol is straight:** that should be brought up on at least the second date right  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i need to be sure  
**no im not:** yeah end of the first date minimum  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what if he says yes chanyeol what if he accepts the pact and were together and married and hot af together but as soon as i  do it he changes his mind and runs off with our butler frans ?//  
**park chanyeol is straight:** how could frans do that to me i paid him so well we were friends but holy fuck i saw the way he looked @ yixing andi didn’t say anthing because he broguht me drinks so good he was so nice but what the fuck he goes and repays me by sleeping with yixing and running off with him before the blood is even dry on the fur carpet they didnt even bother to clean it up I SPENT SO MUCH MONEY ONT HAT FUCKING RUG  
**no im not:**  what th efuck tahts so rude i’ll find them for you  
**no im not:** ill track them over the globe with all the money you’re going to leave me i’ll be super sherlock about it and one day ill track them to a hotel and ill sneak up the water pipe thing and climb up on the balcony and oh my god baekhyun your alive and killed theb utler and faked your death what the fuck man  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im so sorry man i couldnt go through with it  
**no im not:** i gave up raising ferrets with kyungsoo for this you fake ass im keeping all the money

 

_12:23 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** i just saw kyungsoo on his laptop D;  
**no im not:** HES SITTING WITH SOMEONE  
**no im not:** A BOY  
**no im not:**  fuck fuck theyre coming over here  
**no im not:** FUCK FUCK FUCK FU C FUCK  
**no im not:** THIS IS BAD AHH FUCK  
**no im not:**  ok were good they y just sat down a few tables away  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why r u upset about that  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  oh has he still not added you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** pls tell me you didnt make a textbook wall around yourself  
**no im not:**  too late  
**no im not:** its working tho they havent noticed me  
**no im not:** why are they sitting so close together

_no im not has sent an image  
_

**no im not:** friends dont sit that close  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  we sit that close  
**no im not:** yeah but ur not attractive to me in any way so  
**no im not:** thi guys is really attractive fuck  
**no im not:**  he seems to be telling jokes  
**no im not:** kyunsoo is laughing sometimes  
**no im not:** other times he looks embarrassed for him  
**no im not:** this is Unfair i would make him laugh 100% of the tim e  
**park chanyeol is straight:** do your fucking work  
**no im not:**  icant theyre taunting me  
**no im not:** math can wait  
**no im not:** omg kyungsoo is looking over here  
**no im not:** im still hidden its o kay he doesn’t know its me yet  
**park chanyeol is straight:** thank u for this play by play  
**no im not:** should i go on video call  
**no im not:** shit no nno  oshtfslkdf lgl skd fhakhf gjlkdfkjg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ???  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  did you die??  
**no im not:**  fuck the books fell fuck hes looking over here gotta blast  
**park chanyeol is straight:** please dont naruto run out of the library

 

_12:37 P.M.  
_

**kimjunmyeon:** Baekhyun, Is this your friend?

_kimjunmyeon has sent a video_

 

_12:42 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** im safe in the bathroom now he cant find me  
**no im not:** naruto saved my life once again

 

_12:44 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** HOW DID HE FIND ME IN HERE  
**no im not:** fuck baek shh  
**no im not:** shhhh dont tlak  
**no im not:** fuck my figners are making the clicky  noise afk

 

_12:46 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** ok hes gone o k omg that was scary  
**no im not:** he kept knocking on the stall  
**no im not:** he was asking if iwas ok  
**no im not:** thsi is so embarrassing  
**no im not:** im killing myusef sorry  
**no im not:** i wont be abnle to track down your dead butker even tho its actually u tell my mom i love her and tell yura shes ok  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yura is more than ok shes so cool man cooler than you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** remember that time i lost some of my $$ for textbooks and she bought them for me  
**no im not:** by lost did u mean spent got stolen by a dude u slept with  
**park chanyeol is straight:** were not talking about that  
**no im not:** right were talking about my suicide  
**park chanyeol is straight:** right  
**no im not:** how many rts for u to buy me this

_no im not has sent an image_

**park chanyeol is straight:** thats a screenshot of bottle of bleach  
**no im not:** yes  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok 6 retweets and 9 faves  
**no im not:** ok deal

 

_12:48 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** did u really just fave and rt that on all your accounts  
**park chanyeol is straight:** (✿◠‿◠)

 

 _October 3rd 2016_  
_11:07 A.M._

 **no im not:** its been 4 days since  i gave kyungsoo my acc name. he still hasnt added me.  its been tough out here, low on food and water ,, i might have to resort to drinking my own urine  ive seen a video on it before im sure i could do it the tv is only playing reruns and im stuck listening to the sounds of my roommate having sex. or studying. im not sure i cant really tell the different between the soun ds.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** here if you need it again  
**park chanyeol is straight:<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2zITvSp0Hk>**  
**no im not:**  thanks man  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I FORGOT  
**no im not:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i saw yixing today and I TALKED TO HIM LIKE I BUMPED INTO HIM AND I APOLOGIZED  
**no im not:** BRO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BRO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i also asked him out ; ) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)  
**no im not:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**no im not:**  YOU DIDN:T  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I DID HE SAID YES E  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AND HIS KOREAN IS GETTING SO MUCH BETTER  
**park chanyeol is straight:** wehn did we get this gay  
**no im not:** i thought i was straight

 

_1:03 P.M.  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** is this an acceptable selfie to send to yixing

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an image_

**no im not:** why are u sending yixing a selfie and yes  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he added me on snapchat and ok thanks  
**no im not:** WHATS HIS USERNAME I WANT TO ADD HIM TOO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NO hes my guy stay in your lane  
**no im not:** but iwant to add him  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  fine its zhangxing

 

_1:07 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** he looks really good omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he says thanks  
**no im not:** omg he can dance ??  
**no im not:** OMG hes so cute look @ all those puppies where is he finding these puppies  
**park chanyeol is straight:** read the caption  >:|  
**no im not:** o hes friends with jongdae ?? //  / i love jongdae him and minseok are so cute together  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yea man hes stayin with them while hes here  
**no im not:** oo  
**no im not:** can we go visit jondgae and minseok i want to see their puppies  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NO NO YIXING MIGHT BE THERE  
**no im not:**  YOU CAN STAY HOME AND BE UGLY IM GOING TO SEE THE PUPPIES

 

_1:27 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** SINCE WHEN IS JONGDAE FRIENDS WITH KYUNGSOO  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  WHAT HAPPENED WHAT  
**no im not:** I WEN TO GO SEE THEP UPPIES AND HOLY SHTI IWAS WAITING AT THE DOOR REALLY EXCITED TO SEE THEM AND THEM THE DOOR WAS OPENING AND I WAS LIKE “HI JONGDAE” BUT FUCK  
**no im not:**  IT WAS KYUNGSOO AND I KINDA JUST STOO D THERE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES STARING AND I THINK MINSEOK TOOK A VIDEO AND  THEN I KINDA JSUT RAN AWA Y  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THIS IS THE BST DAY EVER I CANT STO P LAUGHING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THE GAY GODS FROM ABOVE HATE YOU SO MUCH WHAT DI YOU DO TO THEM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** MINSEOK TOOK A VIDEO ITS ON SNAPCHAT YOU LLOK LIKE TAHT MR.KRABS MEME

 _park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

**no im not:** NO I DONT  
**no im not:** STOP THIS SLANDER

_park chanyeol is straight has changed his display picture_

**no im not:** STOP

 _park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

 

_[cut for length]_

 

_3:57 P.M.  
_

_do.kyungsoo has sent you a request!_

  
**do kyungsoo:** Hi, this is Park Chanyeol right?


	3. wheres the tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _park chanyeol is straight has added jongdae!!_   
>  _jongdae!! has added minseok ✌️_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long !! this fic really shouldn't be taking so long to update bc its literal crap but yeah sorry!! i'm in summer school right now so i haven't had much time to write.
> 
>  **+** also, oh my god?? thank you for all the comments i can't believe people actually like this ?? i'll try and update again soon.  
>  **++** also, also, idk how many chapters there are going to be so the number is probably going to change every once in a while

_3:57 P.M.  
_

_do.kyungsoo has sent you a request  
_

**do kyungsoo:** Hi, this is Park Chanyeol right?

 

_4:00 P.M  
_

**no im not:** WHAT DO I DO

_no im not has sent an image  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** answer him dumbass  
**no im not:** WHAT DO I SAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I DONT KNOW JUST SAY SOMETHING  
**no im not:** BUT WHAT DO I SAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** one sec

_park chanyeol is straight has added jongdae!!  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** JONGDAE YOURE IN A RELATIONSHIP HELP CHANYEOL  
**jongdae!!:** omg a groupchat nice  
**jongdae!!:** wait relationship  
**jongdae!!:** right minseok  
**jongdae!!:** i love him  
**no im not:** RHATS NOT WHAT I NEEDED TO KNKW  
**no im not:** WHAT DO I SAY TO KYUNGSOO HW ADDED ME LN SKYPE BUT ID ODNT KNKW WHAT TO SAY  
**jongdae!!:** YOU LIKE KYUNGSOO  
**jongdae!!:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**jongdae!!:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**jongdae!!:** ONE SEC

_jongdae!! has added minseok ✌️  
_

**jongdae!!:** MINSEOK BABE OH MY GOD CHANYEOL LIKES KYUNGSOO  
**minseok ✌️:** I KNOW THAT ALREADY HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WERE YOU NOT THERE LIKE 3 HOURS AGO  
**jongdae!!:** OH YEAH

_minseok ✌️ has sent a video  
_

**no im not:** STOP  
**no im not:**  WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** LOOK AT THIS

 _park chanyeol is straight has sent an_ [ _image  
_ ](http://blavity.blavity.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/krabs-696x475.png?e11daf)

**park chanyeol is straight:** DOESNT IT LOOK LIKE HIM

 _jongdae!! has changed his display picture_  
_minseok ✌️ has changed his display picture_  
_park chanyeol is straight has changed the group name to “disoriented mr. park”_  


**no im not:** GUYS  
**no im not:** I HATE YOU

 _no im not has left_  
_park chanyeol is straight has added no im not_  
_no im not has left_  
_minseok ✌️ has added no im not_  
_no im not has left_  
_jongdae!! has added no im not_  


**no im not:** I WONT STAND FOR THIS  
**minseok ✌️:** then sit down  
**jongdae!!:** nice one babe  
**park chanyeol is straight:** gross  
**no im not:** WHAT DO I SAY TO KYUNGSOO J ALREADY ACCEPTED THE REQUESR BYT I HAVENT REPLIED HE SEES THAT IM ONLINE  
**minseok ✌️:** what did he say?? did he say anything??  
**no im not:** yeah

 

> _do kyungsoo: Hi, this is Park Chanyeol right?  
>  _ ****

**no im not:** I TOOK A SCREENSHOT AND SENT IT TO BAEKHYUN EARLIER BUT HE WAS NK HELP  
**park chanyeol is straight:** INWAS BEING EXCTIED FOR YOU  
**minseok ✌️:** yeol …  hes just asking if he was adding the right account ANSWER HIM  
**no im not:** BUT LIKE  
**minseok ✌️:** ANSWER HIM  
**no im not:** BUT LIKE  
**no im not:** WHAT DO I SAY  
**jongdae!!:** just say “hi kyungsoo!!! yes this is chanyeol!!! we should date i think youre so hot and smart i want to s*ck your d*ck!!!!”  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yea chanyeol just say that  
**no im not:** ARE YOU SURE  
**no im not:** IM JUST SAYING HI OKAY I’LL LEAVE THE D*CK S*CKING FOR LATER  
**no im not:**  PRAY FOR ME  
**minseok ✌️:** okay  
**jongdae!!:** good luck  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i think you should add the d*ck stuff  
**no im not:** WAIT OH MY GOD  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT  
**no im not:** IS HE EVEN GAY  
**minseok ✌️:** oh my god  
**minseok ✌️:** im going to leave i cant deal with this shit

 _minseok ✌️ has left_  
_jongdae!! has added minseok ✌️_  


**jongdae!!:** i cant deal with this without u  
**minseok ✌️:** ugh fine  
**minseok ✌️:** do kyungsoo is not straight  
**park chanyeol is straight:** chanyeol u should know minseokie and jongdae would never befriend someone who was straight  
**no im not:** ok im doing it ok  
**no im not:** LETS GOOOOOOO  


_4:25 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** guys i cant do this  
**no im not:** this is Serious  
**no im not:** what if he doesn’t like me  
**no im not:** like i know a lot of people like me but thats only when they first meet me ,, what if we become friends and ,, gets to know me ,, he doesnt like me  
**no im not:** or worse  
**no im not:** what if i dont like him anymore  
**no im not:** i doubt it but what if  
**no im not:** ive been building him up in my head for a long time now what if hes nothing like i imagined this shit is worrying me  
**minseok ✌️:** chanyeol, its fine honestly stop worrying he’s going to like you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yeah man ur great trust me its gonna be ok and u know if it isnt we’re here for u

 

_4:27 P.M.  
_

_do.kyungsoo has sent you a request  
_

_3:57 P.M. > _ **do kyungsoo:** Hi, this is Park Chanyeol right?  
**no im not:** hi yeah !! this is park chanyeol !!  well this is _a_ park chanyeol i dont know how many park chanyeols there are theres gotta be at least one more right well yes this is the park chanyeol youre looking for because youre do kyungsoo right i helped you set this account up yeah okay hi how are you  
**no im not:** shit sorry for rambling i cant believe i can ramble with typing too thats embarrasing ok sorry forthe double chat  
**no im not:** shit sorry again but yeah just ignore my screenname its a thing i have with baekhyun

 

_4:33 P.M.  
_

**minseok ✌️:** do u think hes ok  
**minseok ✌️:** oh yeah he’ll see this  
**minseok ✌️:** chanyeol are u oaky  
**jongdae!!:** oaky  
**park chanyeol is straight:** oaky  
**minseok ✌️:** THIS IS IMPORTANT STOP  
**minseok ✌️:** but  
**minseok ✌️:** oaky  
**no im not:** IM HERE  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT HAPPENED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SPILL  
**no im not:** HE HASNT RESPONDED YET I STARTED RAMBLING I SENT LIKE 3 MESSAGES FUCK  
**no im not:** HES ONLINE TOO  
**no im not:** I HATE EVERYTHING  
**minseok ✌️:** its fine!!!!!!! calm down!!!!! hes probably just taking his time reading it hes nice u know he also types with correct grammer which is so weird but  
**no im not:** its not weird  >:|  
**no im not:** its cute  
**no im not:** IM JUST GOING TO SEND SOMETHING ELSE  
**no im not:** ILL GET BAEKHYUN TO ADD ME BACK AFTER I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU GUYS BULLYING ME

_no im not has left  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** soooo  
**jongdae!!:** what  
**minseok ✌️:** what  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I WAS JUST SAY ING SO WHYA RE YOU SYING WHAT  
**minseok ✌️:** well u usually want something  
**minseok ✌️:** so what do u want  
**jongdae!!:** ^^  
**park chanyeol is straight:** …..  
**park chanyeol is straight:** whens ur next date night …..  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ………  
**minseok ✌️:** NO  
**minseok ✌️:** YOURE NOT COMING AGAIN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHY NOT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WE HAD FUN LAST TIME  
**jongdae!!:** YIXING ISNT GONNA BE THERE  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I KNOW THAT NOW I WAS JUST CHECKING LAST TIM E  
**park chanyeol is straight:** PLEASE~~~~  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ARE YOU JUST WORRIED THAT ONE OF YOU MIGHT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  i wouldnt be surprised  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im  great  
**park chanyeol is straight:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT IF YOU BOTH FALL IN LOVE WITH ME are you guy polydactyl ????  
**minseok ✌️:** thats not the word baekhyun  
**jongdae!!:** POLYDACTYL  
**jongdae!!:** POLYDACTYL IS A DINOSAUR BAEKHYUN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SHUT UTP  
**minseok **✌️:****  POLYDACTYL ISNT A DINOSAUR EITHER  
**jongdae!!:** IM TAKING A SCREENSHOT OF THAT  
**jongdae!!:**  IM NEVER LETTING THIS GO  
**minseok ✌️:** YOU BOTH ARE WRONG  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHATEVER  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  CAN I COME OR NOT  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  CAN I COME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OR NOT  
**minseok ✌️:** FINE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHERE ARE WE GOING  
**jongdae!!:** WERE JUST STAYING AT THE APARTMENT AND ORDERING FOOD IN MINSEOK WANTS TO WATCH MOVIES CAUSE HES OLD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU SAID YIXING WASNT GOING TO BE THERE  
**jongdae!!:** HES NOT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHERE IS HE GONNA BE

 

_4:58 P.M.  
_

_[ cut for length ]  
_

**no im not:** so yeah thats when i was like 12 or something idont remember actually i was younger but i miss him a lot i loved that ferret so much like wtf where did he go  
**no im not:** my mom told me he was still alive and on vacation  
**no im not:** but he didnt even have a passport so idk bout that  
**no im not:** anyways  
**no im not:** yeah

 

_4:59 P.M.  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** GUYS WHY ARENT YOU ANSWERING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM GOING TO RUN TO YOUR APARTMENT IF YOU DONT ANSWER RIGHT NOW  
**minseok ✌️:** uh  
**jongdae!!:** UH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHATS “UH”  
**jongdae!!:** NOT HTING  
**minseok ✌️:** yixing isnt going to be home that day  
**minseok ✌️:** hes going out with a friend of his  
**minseok ✌️:** sorry  
**park chanyeol is straight:** .. why are you apologizing its fine i mean we're not dating we havent even gone on a date yet so i have no reason to be upset at all you know its fine whos his friend whats his name does he go here who is he its not even a date theyre friends  
**jongdae!!:** i told you he would be upset D;  
**minseok ✌️:** he seems fine  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM FINE I HAVENO REASON TO BEUPSET SO IF I WAS IT  WOULDBE DUMB  
**jongdae!!:** ANYWAYS  
**jongdae!!:** RE YU STILL COMING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YES  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT MOVIES ARE WE WATCHING  
**jongdae!!:** IDK MINSEOK USUALLY CHOOSES

 

_5:02 P.M.  
_

_[ cut for length ]_

**no im not:** and then baekhyun got so mad at me ion know why though that shirt was theugliest thing ive ever seen you mightve seen him in it it was like bright orange and blue im gagging just THINKING about it  
**no im not:** i think i have a pic somewhere  
**no im not:** oh i found it

_no im not has sent a photo  
_

**no im not:** ITS UGLIER THAN I REMEMBER  
**no im not:** HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE

 

_5:04 P.M.  
_

**minseok ✌️:** how do u think chanyeol is doing  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HES FUCKING UP I KNOW IT MY YEOL SENSES ARE TINGLING  
**jongdae!!:** that sounds Gross  
**jongdae!!:** but he probably is  
**jongdae!!:** add him back !!!!!!

_park chanyeol is straight has added no im not  
_

**no im not:** WHAT  
**jongdae!!:** HOW R U DOING  
**no im not:** STOP

_no im not has left  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** smh  
**park chanyeol is straight:** we should add someone else  
**park chanyeol is straight** to fill the chanyeol sized hole  
**jongdae!!:** LETS ADD YIXING  
**minseok ✌️:** YEAHHHHHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WE ARE NOT DOING THAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ANYONE BUT HIM  
**jongdae!!:** hes the only one i want to talk to tho  
**jongdae!!:** don tadd anyone D;  
**jongdae!!:** u jut added me and minseok u have to let us hangout with u guys for a while beofre u add someone else  
**minseok ✌️:** i dont even want to be here  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YES YOU DO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU LOVE DRAMA  
**minseok ✌️:** ive been tealess so far today  
**minseok ✌️:** ive usually had several cups by this time  
**jongdae!!:** you hate tea  
**minseok ✌️:** IM NOT TALKING ABOUT ACTUAL TEA  
**jongdae!!:** OH ASKDFKLS I GET IT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** can both of you please date me  
**minseok ✌️:** no  
**jongdae!!:** YEAH THAT WOULD FUN  
**minseok ✌️:** …  
**jongdae!!:** oh  
**jongdae!!:** i guess not  
**jongdae!!:** its ok baek u can be my side chick  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM ONLY A SIDE CHICK TO RICH MEN JONGDAE YOU WORK AT A COFFEE SHOP  
**jongdae!!:** D; D; D; D;  
**jongdae!!:** i make good coffee D;  
**minseok ✌️:**  he does  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IS THAT A SEX THING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** DONT TAL K ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFEIN HERE  
**minseok ✌️:** I HATE YOU  
**minseok ✌️:** HE LITERALLY JUST MEANS HE MAKE GOOD COFFEE  
**minseok ✌️:** YOU JUST SAID HE WORKED IN A COFFEE SHOP  
**minseok ✌️:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS  
**jongdae!!:** …  
**jongdae!!:** its also a sex thing ;3  
**minseok ✌️:**  NO ITS NOT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what IS THAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** :3  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IT LOOKS LIKE YOU  
**jongdae!!:** I KNOW  
**jongdae!!:** :3c  
**jongdae!!:** thats my cat paw  
**minseok ✌️:** i  dont want to date a furry  
**jongdae!!:** :3        c  
**jongdae!!:** i moved the paw  
**minseok ✌️:** i have work to do  
**minseok ✌️:** bye  
**park chanyeol is straight:** :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3  
**jongdae!!:** :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

 

_5:20 P.M.  
_

**no im not:** can u believe he bought that like i know ive been talking about this for a while but what the fuck he spent actual money on that  
**no im not:** i wouldnt even wear it if my mom bought it for me  
**no im not:** thats kinda mean actually  
**no im not:** maybe if my mom bought i would  
**no im not:** OH i have 2 go   
**no im not:** byeeee

 

_October 4th, 2016_

_1:03 A.M.  
_

**do kyungsoo:** Chanyeol? **  
****do kyungsoo:** What the fuck. I have over 100 unread messages.


	4. chanyeol gets drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **no im not:** wht at hte fu ck  
>  **no im not:** what happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO OKAY so the updates on this fic are wildt as fuck sorry. i have a lot of things to get done later so i wanted to get this out so i wouldn't have to worry about it.
> 
>  **+** thank u for all the comments i read all of them i just don't know how to reply so again thank you !! its so weird that people like this.

_October 4th, 2016  
_

9:32 A.M.  
  
**minseok ✌️:** CHANYEOL  
**minseok ✌️:** WHAT DID YOU DO  
**minseok ✌️:**  KYUNGSOO CAME OVER LAST NIGHT AT LIKE 1 AM  
**minseok ✌️:** HE DIDNT EVEN TALK TO ME HE JUST ST BESIDE ME READING ALL THOSE MESSAGES  
**minseok ✌️:** HE WAS SHOOK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE TEXTED ME AND ASKED ABOUT MY CUTE BLUE AND ORANGE SHIRT AND WHY I HAVENT BEEN WEARING IT WHY DID HE ASK THAT  
**minseok ✌️:** ALKJFLDS CHANYEOL TALKED ABOUT THAT UGLY SHIRT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES  
**minseok ✌️:** WHERES CHANYEOL  
**jongdae!!:** im here  
**minseok ✌️:** NOT YOU  
**jongdae!!:** 3:  
**jongdae!!:** im going back 2 bed D;  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM RUNNING TO GET HIM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HES PROBABLY AWAKE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE PROBABLY SAW THE MESSAGE AND COULDNT SLEEP  
**minseok ✌️:** CHANYEOL IF U SEE THIS ANSWER  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HES PROBABLY MAKING EMO MUSIC  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  HE IS I CAN HEAR IT

_park chanyeol is straight has sent a video  
_

**minseok ✌️:** is .. is .. what is that  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I DONT KNOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I CAN HEAR SEHUN ENCOURAGING HIM

_park chanyeol is straight has added sehunnie  
_

**minseok ✌️:** HI SEHUN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SEHUN STOP ENCOURAGING CHANYEOL BEING EMO  
**sehunnie:** WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** STOP SCREAMING I CAN HEAR YOU OPEN THE DOOR  
**sehunnie:** hyung said not to  
**sehunnie:** so  
**sehunnie:** okay  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  brb  
**sehunnie:** can i stay  
**minseok ✌️:** omg yes  
**jongdae!!:** SEHUN  
**jongdae!!:** SEHUN HI  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT AREYOU DOING HERE  
**sehunnie:** I DONT KNOW BAEKHYUN ADDED ME  
**sehunnie:** omg  
**sehunnie:** one sec

 _sehunnie has added nini_ _ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ  
_

**sehunnie:** jongin look @ all this drama  
**sehunnie:** im taking so many screenshots rn  
**sehunnie:** CHANYE OL  LIKES KyUNGSOO ???????/  
**sehunnie:**  WHAT  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** u woke me up D;  
**sehunnie:** CHANYEOL LIKES KYUNGSOO  
**sehunnie:** THIS IS WHY HES BEING EMO ??/?  
**sehunnie:** IM SUPPOSE TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND  
**sehunnie:** I HATE HIM  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** what are u all doing up its 9 am  
**jongdae!!:** DRAMA JONGIN  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** im going back 2 bed love u sehun  
**sehunnie:** love u too  
**jongdae!!:** AWAWAWAWAWAWA AW AW WAW AW  
**minseok ✌️:** cute  
**jongdae!!:**  i love u minseok  
**minseok ✌️:** not now  
**minseok ✌️:**  why are u typing that tho im literally in the next room over  
**jongdae!!:** tru  
**jongdae!!:** ill just yell it really loud  
**minseok ✌️:** NO  
**minseok ✌️:** YIXING IS STILL SLEEPING  
**jongdae!!:** D;  
**jongdae!!:** too late  
**minseok ✌️:** UGH

 

_11:23 A.M.  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** IM BACK  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  WHERE IS EVERYONE  
**sehunnie:** hey  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  why are you still here  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** hi  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  WHY ARE YOU HERE  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** sehun added me  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  u gotta go  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur friends with yixing  
**park chanyeol is straight:** u could expose me  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** uh he already knows you like him  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HOW  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** you asked him out ?? he said yes ??  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OH YEAH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THATS THIS FRIDAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM SO BUSY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I HAVE MY DATE WITH YIXING AND THEN ON SUNDAY I HAVE MY DATE WITH MINSEOK AND JONGDAE  
**sehunnie:** what a ho  
**nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ:** yah  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT HTE FUCK

 _park chanyeol is straight has removed sehunnie  
_ _park chanyeol is straight has removed nini ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ_

 

_October 6th, 2016  
_

 

_5:14 P.M.  
_

**minseok ✌:** PARK CHANYEOL ANSWER ME  
**minseok ✌️:** ANSWER ME  
**minseok ✌️:** THIS GC HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 2 DAYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT IS IT  
**minseok ✌️:** NOT YOU  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT IS IT  
**minseok ✌️:** NOT YOU EITHER  
**minseok ✌️:** BAEKHYUN YOU TALKED TO HIM THE OTHER DAY WHAT DID YOU SAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IDK I JUST TOLD HIM TO STOP BEING EMO AND THAT KYUNGSOO PROBABLY DOESNT THINK HES THAT WEIRD  
**no im not:**  I a m  he ere  
**minseok ✌️:** CHANYEOL  
**no im not:**  ye s s mins e sok ie  
**jongdae!!:** what  
**park chanyeol is straight:** your typos are worse than usual yeol whats up  
**no im not:** NOTHING NOT HING is  up acutally my dicc is  
**minseok ✌️:** gross  
**jongdae!!:** double gross  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  um  
**park chanyeol is straight:** um  
**no im not:**  im jsut kidding g im dr ink  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ITS 5 WTF  
**no im not:** it s 5 o clock som e hwere  
**park chanyeol is straight:** its 5 o'clock here  
**jongdae!!:** I WANT TO BE DRINK CAN I COME OVER  
**no im not:**  i m gha  ing fun by smyselfn o  
**no im not:** wh ya m isuch a screw u pi jsut wanted to talk to kyun gso o  
**no im not:** btu then i kept send ing stuff  and idek i  just wanted him to k n ow all the stuff and i just oculdn t shut up  
**no im not:**  and hten i rmember how cute he looked and then i was reminded of h o w ugly ba  kehyun is and then irem mbered the ugly shrit that bake hyu un thinks is cute that i spilt all th at st uff  on  
**park chanyeol is straight:** imma just ignore that for now  
**minseok ✌️:** ok well youre not a screw up  
**minseok ✌️:** just go talk to kyungsoo  
**minseok ✌️:** doesnt have to be in person just text him if you want  
**no im not:**  I DONT HAVE HI S NU MB ER ###  
**jongdae!!:** DO YOU WANT IT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i have it  
**jongdae!!:** me 2  
**minseok ✌️:** me too  
**no im not:**  i cant be live you guy s all have h is number  
**minseok ✌️:** we’re friends with him  
**no im not:**  i want to nt be friends with   h im  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i thought you wanted to date him  
**no im not:** iI DO I WANT HIS DICK  
**no im not:**  H ES S OCUTE  
**no im not:** B UTI DONT CARE IF WE  D DO N T EVER D ATE TO BE HONES T,,, I JUST WAN T HIM IN MY L IFE  
**no im not:** B UT NO WI NCAN NEVR TAL KTO HIM AGAIN  
**minseok ✌️:** YES YOU CAN OH MY GOD  
**minseok ✌️:** JUST TALK TO HIM  
**minseok ✌️:** HE DOESNT HATE YOU  
**minseok ✌️:** HE JUST THINKS YOURE KINDA WEIRD  
**minseok ✌️:** AND YOU ARE SO CHILL  
**jongdae!!:** yes babe !!  
**no im not:**  im sc leep ok mayb be i na  few   day s  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  BIT HC NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM GOING TO TEXTHIM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM TELLING HIM TO GO TO YOUR APT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I TOLD HIM IT WAS AN EMERGENCY  
**jongdae!!:** I TEXTEDH IM TOO  
**no im not:**  FU CK G JG Iyou guys  
**no im not:** IM N OT ANSWE R ING THE DOOR WHEN H E  O M GETS HERE

 

_5:32 P.M.  
_

**no im not:**  FUC KYO YU  HGUYS HERES  HE  
**no im not:** IM   UN DER MY BED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ANSWER THE DOOR  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM GOING TO TEXT SEHUN TO LET HIM IN  
**no im not:** hasfh hh hah h se hu n getting dicc rn igh tnow hes not home  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT  
**no im not:** ITS S L IKE BEFOER WHE N I WAS IN THE BAT HR OO M  
**jongdae!!:** what  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ill tell u l8r  
**no im not:** im s slepe now i can hear him talk 2 to m me he sounds  n ice  
**no im not:**  o  ps  
**minseok ✌️:** … what  
**no im not:**  i  do rpped the bot tl e  
**minseok ✌️:** are you okay ???  
**no im not:**  ye h it did nt hi m e jus the floor  
**no im not:** it  was loud  
**no im not:**  he s kn o cking still  
**no im not:** io n ant to tal kto him right now im  m ess hes so per fect  
**no im not:** pl ease tell him to  go  
**jongdae!!:** he just texted me  
**no im not:** WHAT D ID H E SAY  
**minseok ✌️:** hes asking if aw  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT AW  
**minseok ✌️:** he’s asking if we’re talking to chanyeol right now bc hes a little worried he heard something fall  
**minseok ✌️:** see yeol he doesnt hate you  
**minseok ✌️:** yeol?/  
**jongdae!!:** CHANYEOL  
**minseok ✌️:** youre not actually yelling when you do that so he cant hear you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i think he fell asleep  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i mean i think he s c leep  
**park chanyeol is straight:** isnt that weird tho  
**jongdae!!:** yeah  
**minseok ✌️:** what  
**jongdae!!:** we didn’t text him!!!  
**jongdae!!:** i mean i didn;t  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i didnt either  
**minseok ✌️:**  he .. he went htere on his own  
**minseok ✌️:** omg

 

_5:35 P.M  
_

**TEXT MESSAGE FROM:** KYUNGSOO ^L^  
> Jongdae, are you talking to Chanyeol right now?  
> I texted Sehun for their address because he’s been ignoring my Skype messages.  
> I wanted to see if he was okay.  
> Oh shit. What was that. Jongdae is he okay?

 

_5:55 P.M.  
_

**jongdae!!:** HES BEEN MESSAGING CHANYEOL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT  
**jongdae!!:** THE PAST 2 DAYS  
**jongdae!!:** CHANYEOL HASNT ANSWERED  
**jongdae!!:** he must really like him  
**park chanyeol is straight:** who ?/  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yeol must like ksoo alot??  
**jongdae!!:** yeah syre  
**jongdae!!:** *sure  
**jongdae!!:** i gtg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WTF

 

_October 7th, 2016_

 

_10:01 A.M.  
_

**no im not:** wht at hte fu ck  
**no im not:**  what happened  
**no im not:** KYU NG SOO HASNT BEEN MESSAGING ME WTF  
**no im not:** WHO IS THIS PERSON IMPERSONATING ME  
**no im not:**  ah h fu kbrb  
**minseok ✌️:** chanyeol  
**minseok ✌️:** do you by any chance  
**minseok ✌️:** have his conversation muted  
**minseok ✌️:** i’ll just wait  
**no im not:** OH MY GOD  
**no im not:** ID O

 

_12:32 P.M.  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** not that i dnt love all this chanyeol and kyungsoo drama  
**park chanyeol is straight:** but  
**park chanyeol is straight:** my date with yixing is tonight (¬‿¬)  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AND I NEED TO LOOK GOOD  
**no im not:** SEND PICS I WILL HOLD OF MY EMONESS FOR THIS  
**park chanyeol i straight:** OK!!!!! also did u message him back after u realized the convo was muted  
**no im not:** uh  
**no im not:**  i want to  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT THE FUCK U MEAN U WANT TO ??? DO IT  
**no im not:**  we can talk about this later :D  
**no im not:**  lets make u look sexi  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ヽ(´▽｀)ノ

 

_2:13 P.M.  
_

**TEXT MESSAGE FROM:** SOO (´ー｀)  
> Good luck on your date tonight.  
> Wear the blue and orange shirt.

 

 **TEXT MESSAGE FROM:** BOYFRIEND #1 DAE =^.^=  
> HE LOOKS GOOD TONIGHT  
> GET THAT DICC !!!

 

 **TEXT MESSAGE FROM:** BOYFRIEND #2 SEOK ('o' <)  
> HAVE FUN  
> be safe!!


	5. pcy mia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **minseok ✌️:** and seeing as i am gay myself and jongdae is bisexual  
>  **minseok ✌️:** thats like my gay intake for the day  
>  **jongdae!!:** how dare you out me  
>  **minseok ✌️:** we are in a relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **AHHHH !!!!**  
>  i'm so sorry for taking so long to update this dumbass fic  
> i hope you like this chapter & i promise the next update wont be months from now.  
>  _also im so sorry idk how good this chapter is im sorry i love u guys thank you for reading thing crap_

_October 7th, 2016  
_

_7:23 P.M._

**  
** **park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FU UC K  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  FU CK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** whatht t FUCK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** GUYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SOMEONE   PL EASE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** DIE AL OF YOU  
**jongdae!!:** whos al  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK YOU KIM JONGDAE I NEED HELP

_  
jongdae!! has left_

**  
** **park chanyeol is straight:** .  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  fuck u  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YIXING IS GONNA BE HERE DSOON  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BUT IM NOT NERVOUS OK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I AM THE ROMANCEMASTER2000  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I INVENTED NOT BEING NERVOUS ON FIRST DATES WITH ZHANG YIXING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HERES HE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HES HERE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK  K  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BYE

 

_7:45 P.M.  
_

  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HOLY  FUCK GUYS S  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE  LOOKS GOD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NOT GODD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BUT YES GOD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I DONT EVEN BELEIVE IN GOD BUT I WOULD GET ON MY KNEES FOR HIM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WAIT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I DIDNT MEAN THAT LIKE THAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BUT   
**park chanyeol is straight:** ;)

_  
8: 12 P.M._

**  
** **park chanyeol is straight:** HES ORDERING FOOD 4 ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I SHOULD STOP TYPING THIS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BUT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I NEED DOCUMENTATION OF THIS MOMENT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IN CASE I GET LIKE AMNESIA  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AND I THINK IM STRIGHT OR SOEMTHING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ILL SEE ALL MY MSGS ABOT YIXING AND SEE THAT IM GAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** you guys better visit me in the hospital  
**park chanyeol is straight:** fuckers  
**park chanyeol is straight:** O K  
**jongdae!!:** jesus fuck baek  
**jongdae!!:** get off ur fucking phone  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FINE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OKAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BBL ;)

_  
park chanyeol is straight has left_

**  
** **minseok ✌️:** is it safe  
**minseok ✌️:** as much as i love seeing baek so happy  
**minseok ✌️:** i can only take so much gay a day  
**minseok ✌️:** and seeing as  i am gay myself and jongdae is bisexual  
**minseok ✌️:** thats like my gay intake for the day  
**jongdae!!:** how dare you out me  
**minseok ✌️:** we are in a relationship  
**minseok ✌️:** everyone knows  
**jongdae!!:** oh lol

_  
8:27 P.M._

**  
** **minseok ✌️:** where pcy  
**minseok ✌️:** i havent seen him all day  
**jongdae!!:** hm me neither  
**jongdae!!:** i txted him  
**jongdae!!:** asking if he wanted 2 come see puppies  
**jongdae!!:** i bought some allergy medicine for him  
**minseok ✌️:** speaking of puppies  
**minseok ✌️:** i hope baek’s date is going well  
**minseok ✌️:** also u need to come take lu off my chest i need to eat something  
**jongdae!!:** just move him urself D:  
**minseok ✌️:** but then he’ll be mad @ me  
**minseok ✌️:** i dont want him to be sad  
**jongdae!!:**  I DONT WNAT HIM TO BE MAD @ ME EITHER  
**jongdae!!:** i will bring u food  
**minseok ✌️:** hm  
**minseok ✌️:** ok

_  
10:12 P.M._

**  
** **park chanyeol is straight:**  AHHHHHHHHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**jongdae!!:**  AHHHHHHHH  
**jongdae!!:** WHY ARE WE SCREAMING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THAT DATE WENT SO WELL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE KISSED ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  AHHHHHHHH  
**jongdae!!:** omg i didnt know u kiss and tell  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yes u did  
**jongdae!!:** yes i did  
**jongdae!!:** did u feel fireworks  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I DONT KNOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:** MY FACE FEELS LIKE ITS ON FIRE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I FUCKING TOUCHED MY CHEEKS AFTER HE KISSED ME AND HE LAUGHED AT ME AND I SAW HIS DIMPLE AND I ALMOST CRIED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HES SO CUTE  
**jongdae!!:** aw  
**jongdae!!:** reminds me of me after my first date with seok :3  
**park chanyeol is straight:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  am i gonna end up dating him and raising puppies with him too  
**jongdae!!:** MAYBe  
**jongdae!!:** WE CAN BE PUPPY PARENTS TOGETHER  
**jongdae!!:** and kyungsoo and chanyeol can raise cats  
**park chanyeol is straight:** if chanyeol ever talks 2 him  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  have u seen chanyeol today  
**jongdae!!:** no  
**jongdae!!:** minseok hasnt either  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hmmmm  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hes probably in his room being emo again  
**park chanyeol is straight:** imma gonna go 2 bed :) im gonna text yixing too  
**jongdae!!:** crazy kids  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im older than u  
**jongdae!!:** goodnight :)

 

_October 8th 2016  
_

_3:12 A.M.  
_

**  
** **no im not:** im going to kill all of you  
**no im not:** i hate all of you  
**not im not:** literally  
**no im not:** im ending all my friendships with ALL OF YOU  
**no im not:** DO NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO ANSWER A FUCKING TEXT  
**no im not:** JONGDAEI TEXTED YOU WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER  
**no im not:** wait  
**no im not:** fuck  
**no im not:** NONE OF THEM DELIVERED  
**no im not:** i hate myself b

 

_3:25 A.M.  
_

  
**no im not:** also i found out im scared of heights today  
**no im not:** IF ANY OF MY MESSGES SENT U WOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY

_  
4:54 A.M._

**  
** **park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HWERE HAVE YOU BEEN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WAKE UP  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WAKE UP TELL ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** wait omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL ASLKHGKLDSL OH MY GOD

_5:12 A.M._

**  
** **no im not:** IM UP  
**no im not:** HI BAEK  
**no im not:** HWY ARE YOU LAUGHING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** bc i love you and ur hilarious and i love twitter  
**no im not:** oh no  
**no im not:** please no

_  
park chanyeol is straight has sent an image_

**  
** **no im not:** NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is this not u?  
**no im not:** um  
**no im not:** no  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is this where uve been all day ??  
**park chanyeol is straight:** stuck ina fucking tree ???

  
_no im not has left_

**park chanyeol is straight:** GET BACK HERE I HATE YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HOW DID YOU GET STUCK IN THAT  TREE  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  CHANYEOL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** TELL ME

_park chanyeol is straight has added no im not_

**no im not:** I DONT WANT TO TELL YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** TELL ME  
**no im not:** fine  >:(  
**no im not:** i was walking round looking for cute leaves after i helped u pick an outfit  
**park chanyeol is straight:** like one does  
**park chanyeol is straight:** naturally  
**no im not:** and i saw kyungsoo walking my direction  
**park chanyeol is straight:** are you kidding me  
**no im not:** AND I GOT SO SCARED AND NERVOS THAT I CLIMBED THE TREE TO AVOID HIM SEEING ME AND  
**park chanyeol is straight:** did he see you  
**no im not:** i dont think so but  
**no im not:** but he probably saw it online  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why did u jut climb down  
**no im not:** typeo  
**no im not:** gdi  
**no im not:** BC IT WAS REALLY HIGH UP AND I DIDNT WANT TO HURT MYSELF AND IT WAS SO HIGH BAEK AND SOMEONE SAW ME AND CALLED THE FIRE DEPARTMENT LIKE 3 HOURS LATER IT WAS SO COLD AND EMBARRASSING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** we both had a good day then  
**no im not:** HOW IS THAT GOOD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** well i mean  
**park chanyeol is straight:** it isnt  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i was just talking about me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i had a good day  
**park chanyeol is straight:** :)  
**no im not:** .  
**no im not:** how was ur date  
**park chanyeol is straight** : nice  
**no im not:** nice  
**no im not:**  im tired im gonna sleep and never wake up  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok me too but im gonna wake up


	6. long live pcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **park chanyeol is straight:** because  
>  **park chanyeol is straight:** park  
>  **park chanyeol is straight:** chanyeol  
>  **park chanyeol is straight:** is  
>  **park chanyeol is straight** : ~ straight ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys _!!! ___  
> something really cool happened the other day! someone nominated this fic in an exo fanfic award! thats so cool i almost cried tbh. so someone nominated this fic under the "best ongoing fic" category and im really shocked and happy?? i expected this fic to get 100 hits at best and maybe 50 kudos and the amount of people leaving comments saying that this fic makes them laugh makes me so happy! i'm not sure when voting starts but check them out on twitter at @exofanficawards to see updates and such.  
>  thank you to those reading this fic and i love you
> 
> **ALSO**  
>  i was thinking of making this is a series? like write short drabbles based on this universe be it chanyeol and kyungsoo or the baekxing date. im not sure yet though.

_October 12th 2016  
  
_

_10:34 A.M  
  
_

_jongdae!! has started a new chat  
_

_jongdae!! has added park chanyeol is straight  
_

_jongdae!! has added minseok✌️_

_jongdae!! has added do kyungsoo  
  
_

**jongdae!!:** hi everyone :3  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what is this  
**park chanyeol is straight:**????  
**minseok ✌️️:** yeah dae  
**jongdae!!:** wheres kyungsoo  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  wheres yeol  
**jongdae!!:** KYUNGSOO  
**jongdae!!:** COME HITHER  
**jongdae!!:** chanyeol cant be here  
**minseok ✌️️:** wheres chanyeol irl though  
**minseok ✌️️:** why is he always mia  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  i thinks hes been in his room since the “tree incident”  
**jongdae!!:** that was so funny  
**jongdae!!:** sehun posted a video on twitter  
**jongdae!!:** hes such a dick  
**minseok ✌️️:** why didbyou add kyungsoo  
**jongdae!!:** BECAUSE WE NEED TO TALK TO HIM  
**minseok ✌️️:** why didnt you just invite him over  
**jongdae!!:**.  
**jongdae!!:** because this is easier  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why isnt kyungsoo talking  
**jongdae!!:** mayb hes still alseep  
**minseok ✌️️:** its 10 am  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is he even online  
**jongdae!!:** YES it says hes online !!!!! right there see !!!!!!!  
**do kyungsoo:** I’m online.  
**jongdae!!:** KYUNGSOO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** KYUNGSOOOOOOOOOOO  
**minseok ✌️️:** HI KYUNGSOO  
**do kyungsoo:** What is this.  
**jongdae!!:** GROUP CHAT  
**jongdae!!:** SO WE CAN TALKKKKKK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YEAH SOO ITLL BE FUNNNNNNNN  
**do kyungsoo:** is chanyeol here  
**jongdae!!:** no  
**jongdae!!:** whyyyyyy ;)  
**jongdae!!:** do u like him kyungsoo ???  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ;) ;) ;)  
**minseok ✌️️:** oh my god  
**do kyungsoo:** …  
**do kyungsoo:** I was just wonderin  
**do kyungsoo:** g  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT WAS THAT  
**jongdae!!:** KYUNGSOO MADE A TYOP  
**jongdae!!:** TPYO  
**jongdae!!:** TYPO  
**do kyungsoo:** its just a typo  
**minseok ✌️️:** THAT DIDNT HAVE PUNCTUATION  
**minseok ✌️️:** OR A CAPTIAL LETTER  
**jongdae!!:** WHO ARE YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHERES THE REAL KYUNGSOO  
**do kyungsoo:** Stop.  
**jongdae!!:**  i think ur lying  
**jongdae!!:** do u want chanyeol here  
**jongdae!!:** i can add him if u want :)  
**do kyungsoo:** No. Its okay.  
**do kyungsoo:** I just wanted to ask if he was alright.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** oooooh you saw the thingy  
**do kyungsoo:** Yes i saw the thingy. I called Sehun after an hour had passed to come get him.  
**jongdae!!:** well that didnt work out  
**do kyungsoo:** Yeah.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hes fine  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i havent seen or heard from him since it happened so actually  
**park chanyeol is straight:** idk  
**jongdae!!:** didnt he say he wasnt going to wake up  
**minseok ✌️️:** you cant just decide not to wake up  
**park chanyeol is straight:** erm  
**park chanyeol is straight:** padme amidala begs to fucking differ  
**jongdae!!:** but that doesnt count  
**park chanyeol is straight:** PADME ALWAYS COUNTS  
**do kyungsoo:** I went to his dorm the other day to see him.  
**do kyungsoo:** See if he was okay.  
**minseok ✌️️:** sure kyungsoo  
**do kyungsoo:** -_-  
**jongdae!!:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OMG  
**do kyungsoo:** Who is that anyway?  
**jongdae!!:** ….  
**jongdae!!:** … the emoji?  
**do kyungsoo:** No.   
**do kyungsoo:** “park chanyeol is straight”  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU DONT KNOW WHO I WM  
**minseok ✌️️:** how could he  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU WOUND ME KYUNGSOO  
**do kyungsoo:** I can make a guess.  
**do kyungsoo:** Is it Baekhyun?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** Yes <3  
**do kyungsoo:** Why is that your screenname?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** because  
**park chanyeol is straight:** park  
**park chanyeol is straight:** chanyeol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ~ straight ~  
**do kyungsoo:** what.  
**do kyungsoo:** No he isn’t.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** super straight  
**do kyungsoo:** No.  
**jongdae!!:** he loves boobs  
**minseok ✌️️:** jesus jongdae  
**jongdae!!:** i was gonna say vagina but  
**minseok ✌️️:** JONGDAE  
**do kyungsoo:** Um.  
**do kyungsoo:** I remember Chanyeol’s screen name is “no im not” or something like that.  
**do kyungsoo:** He said it had something to do with Baekhyun.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** denial my love  
**do kyungsoo:** Don’t call me that.  
**park chanyeol is straight** : mon chere?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** sweetheart?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** darling?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** mon amour?  
**do kyungsoo:** Thats still “my love”.  
**do kyungsoo:** No nicknames.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok soo  
**do kyungsoo:** …  
**jongdae!!** : ANYWAYS  
**jongdae!!:** chanyeol is gay  
**jongdae!!:** im bisexual  
**jongdae!!:** minseok is gay  
**jongdae!!:** baekhyun is gay  
**do kyungsoo:** im pan  
**jongdae!!:** YOU ARE  
**do kyungsoo:** Yeah?  
**do kyungsoo:** You’ve met my ex-partners?  
**jongdae!!:** oh yeah  
**minseok ✌️️:** should someone go check on chanyeol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** just text sehun  
**jongdae!!:** hes gone for th week  
**minseok ✌️️:** why  
**do kyungsoo:** hes with jongin  
**do kyungsoo:** i think they went to jongins place back home?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** oh okay  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ill go!!!  
**jongdae!!** : no  
**jongdae!!:** i need you to come over to our place  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why tho:(  
**jongdae!!:** to work on that thing  
**jongdae!!:** right minseok  
**minseok ✌️️:** what  
**minseok ✌️️:** what thing  
**minseok ✌️️:** tf you hit me for???  
**minseok ✌️️:** OH  
**jongdae!!:** …  
**minseok ✌️️:** yeah you need to come here for the thing  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what thing D;  
**park chanyeol is straight:** idk what ur tlaking about  
**jongdae!!:** JUST COME OVER

**—**

_jongdae!! has pm’d park chanyeol is straight.  
_

**jongdae!!:** JESUS BAEK JUST GO ALONG WIYH IT!!!!

**—**

**park chanyeol is straight:** ooh yeah the Thing  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i cant go  
**jongdae!!:** kyungsoo you go  
**do kyungsoo:** why me  
**minseok ✌️️:** bc its your fault  
**do kyungsoo:** why is it my fault  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BECAUSE HE CLIMBED UP THE TREE TO HIDE FROM YOU  
**do kyungsoo:** well why did he do that  
**jongdae!!:** just go to the dorm  
**do kyungsoo:** he wont answer the door  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I HAVE A SPARE KEY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ILL MEET YOU HALFWAY AND GIVE IT TO YOU  
**do kyungsoo:** wont he be mad?  
**jongdae!!:** hes probably dead  
**jongdae!!:** so no  
**jongdae!!:** he wont be mad  
**do kyungsoo:** do i go now?  
**jongdae!!:** UH  
**jongdae!!:** YEAH GO NOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ILL MEET YOU AT THE LIBRARY !!!!!  
**do kyungsoo:** okay i’ll see you there.

_do kyungsoo has left  
  
_

**jongdae!!:** AHHHHHHHH  
**minseok ✌️️:** i hope chanyeol is okay  
**jongdae!!:** hm  
**jongdae!!:** oh yeah  
**park chanyeol is straight:** idk if anythings going to happen  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BUT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AT LEAST THEY WILL TALK  
**minseok ✌️️:** yeah  
**minseok ✌️️:** thats important  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OK I GOTTA GO

_park chanyeol is straight has left  
  
_

 

_3:10 P.M.  
  
_

**jongdae!!:** KYUNGSOO  
**jongdae!!:** ARE YOU BACK  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT HAPPENED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IS HE ALIVE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is he online  
**jongdae!!:** YES  
**jongdae!!:** HE IS  
**jongdae!!:** I HEARD THE BUBBLE NOISE THING  
**jongdae!!:** AND A THING POPPED UP IN THE CORNER THAT SAID SO  
**do kyungsoo:** im here.  
**do kyungsoo:** calm down.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HOWS CHANYEOL  
**jongdae!!:** DID HE DIE  
**jongdae!!:** WHY ISNT HE ONLINE  
**do kyungsoo:** He’s fine. kinda.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** kinda???  
**do kyungsoo:** Yeah. He has a fever.  
**jongdae!!:** wait  
**jongdae!!:** did you have to use the key  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hes sick???  
**do kyungsoo:** Yeah.  
**do kyungsoo:** He had his headphones in when i went in, he was working on something.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ooh i know what it is  
**do kyungsoo:** He let me listen to it. It was good.  
**do kyungsoo:** I liked it.  
**do kyungsoo:** and then I made him sleep.  
**park chanyeol is straight:** is that why he hasnt been online ?? hes been working on the song??  
**do kyungsoo:** he forgot his password to skype  
**do kyungsoo:** he also almost had a heart attack when i walked in  
**do kyungsoo:** he tried to close his laptop and throw it when he saw me but he kinda fell off the bed because his headphones were still plugged in.  
**jongdae!!:** AHSJSJJSKS  
**jongdae!!:** DID YOU GET A PHOTO  
**jongdae!!:** OR A VIDEO  
**jongdae!!:** OR SOMETHING  
**do kyungsoo:** NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** omg caps kyungsoo  
**do kyungsoo:** it was funny  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL JUST CAME ONLINE  
**do kyungsoo:** ill go  
**jongdae!!:** why D;  
**do kyungsoo:** this is your thing i’ll see you guys later make sure chanyeol sleeps!

_do kyungsoo has left  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** awe  
**park chanyeol is straight:** rip kyungsoo gone too soon  
**jongdae!!:** IM GONNA ADD CHANYEOL TO THIS CHAT

_jongdae!! has added no im not  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHAHHHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** cha jwnYEol  
**jongdae!!:** HIIIIIIIII  
**no im not:** HI GUYS  
**no im not:** HOW ARE YOU  
**no im not:** KYUNGSOO CAME OVER  
**no im not:** HE LIKED THE SONG  
**jongdae!!:** HE SAID  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT SONG THO  
**no im not:** I WROTE HIM A SONG  
**no im not:** HE DOESNT KNOW THO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHEN ARE YOU GONNA TELL HIM  
**no im not:** UH LATER MAYBE  
**jongdae!!:** *GASP*  
**park chanyeol is straight:** *FAINTS*  
**no im not:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU DIDNT SAY “NEVER”  
**no im not:** shut up  
**no im not:** i dont always say that  
**jongdae!!:** YES YOU DO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** TWO MONTHS AGO I ASKED YOU FOR HELP WITH A PAPER AND YOU REPLIED, AND I QUOTE, “never”.  
**no im not:** why would i say that  
**park chanyeol is straight:** because i changed all your ringtones and alarms to ring ding dong  
**no im not:** oh yeah  
**no im not:** AND HAD THE VOLUME ON ALL OF THEM OH MAX  
**park chanyeol is straight:** that was great  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im great  
**no im not:** fuck you  
**no im not:** wheres minseok  
**jongdae!!:** idk  
**no im not:** you live with him  
**jongdae!!:** so  
**jongdae!!:** im not his keeper  
**jongdae!!:** WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU THINK WE HAVE?  
**no im not:** I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHERE HE IS  
**jongdae!!:** OKAY  
**jongdae!!:** ONE SEC  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what happened when soo went over  
**not im not:** uh  
**no im not:** i remember he came over but i was feverish and stuff so i dont really remember anything other than me showing him the song and then sleeping  
**park chanyeol is straight:** your life is a drama park chanyeol  
**no im not:** tell me about it  
**jongdae!!:** okay im back  
**jongdae!!:** he was sleeping  
**jongdae!!:** takin a lil nap  
**jongdae!!:** hes mad @ me now  
**park chanyeol is straight:** rip  
**park chanyeol is straight:** AHHH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I HAVE TO GO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH YIXING  
**no im not:** HAVE FUN  
**no im not:** IM GONNA FINISH THE SONG RIGHT NOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NO SLEEP  
**no im not:** D;  
**no im not:** fine

—

**do kyungsoo:** Minseok! i wanted to show you this.  
**do kyungsoo:** it happened when I was at chanyeol’s earlier today  
**do kyungsoo:** i would post it in the original chat but i dont trust jongdae and baekhyun at all.

_  
do kyungsoo has sent a video  
  
_

**do kyungsoo:** its cute right  
**do kyungsoo:** i almost died  
**do kyungsoo:** i was just pulling his blankets up and he grabbed my wrist  
**do kyungsoo:** i couldnt tell what he was saying tho  
**do kyungsoo:** his face was smushed against his pillow  
**do kyungsoo:** his hands are so big  
**do kyungsoo:** its insane seok  
**do kyungsoo:** im being creepy  
**do kyungsoo:** Don't tell Jongdae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twitter: @cbxanti  
> 


	7. dying day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jongdae!!:** WHY WASNT I INVITED TO THE HAIR DYING PARTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shti ive uploaded this chapter about 20 times and ao3 keeps cutting it off but anyways if ur reading this than i didnt smash my computer. enjoy. also sorry for taking 2 months to update.

_October 13th, 2016  
  
_ _5:13 A.M.  
_

_  
_ **do kyungsoo:** MINSEOK  
**do kyungsoo:** KIM MINSEOK  
**do kyungsoo:** I HATE YOU  
**do kyungsoo:** IM NEVER TRUSTING YOU AGAIN

 _5:33 A.M.  
  
_ **  
minseok ✌️️:** what  
**minseok ✌️️:** what did i do  
**do kyungsoo:** YOU KNOW  
**minseok ✌️️:** i dont  
**do kyungsoo:** YES YOU DO  
**do kyungsoo:** YOU TOLD JONGDAE  
**minseok ✌️️:** whos that  
**do kyungsoo:** …  
**do kyungsoo:** whos that?/??  
**do kyungsoo:** TWHOS THA  
**minseok ✌️️:** whos jongdae  
**do kyungsoo:** kim jongdae born september 21st 1992 in daejeon south korea dropped out after his 2nd year of college  
**minseok ✌️️:** doesnt ring a bell  
**do kyungsoo:** YOUVE LITERALLY BEEN DATING FOR A MILLION YEARS  
**minseok ✌️️:** actually  
**do kyungsoo:** WHY DID YOU TELL HIM  
**minseok ✌️️:** i didnt  
**do kyungsoo:** YOU DIDNT?  
**do kyungsoo:** THEN WHY ELSE WOULD I WAKE UP TO SEVERAL TEXTS CONSISTING OF:

 

 

> “KY UNG SOO”  
>  “AKJLKGSKJFS”  
>  “;) ;); )”  
>  “THIS IS SO GRET FUC K “  
>  “AHHHHHHHH”  
>  “GA Y YGAY GYA GA Y GAY GAYAGAY GAY”  
>  “AJKFLASKJFKL LKSJJFKS”  
>  “AJHSJ  KEYBNGSOO AND HCANYE OL”

**minseok ✌️️:** maybe he was watching a drama  
**do kyungsoo:** choke  
**do kyungsoo:** why did you tell him D;  
**minseok ✌️️:** I DIDNTSTOP  
**do kyungsoo:** FUCK  
**do kyungsoo:** YOU DID THE LEG THING  
**do kyungsoo:** DIDNT YOU  
**minseok ✌️️:** WHAT LEG THING  
**minseok ✌️️:** I DONT HAVE A LEG THING  
**do kyungsoo:** ..

 _do kyungsoo has sent a video  
_ _do kyungsoo has sent a video  
_ _do kyungsoo has sent a video  
_ _do kyungsoo has sent a video  
  
_

**do kyungsoo:** 1) when i asked you if you liked jongdae and you said no  
**do kyungsoo:** 2) when you asked jongdae if he wanted to watch ur fave movie and he said he didnt like it so u said u didnt like it either for headass reasons  
**do kyungsoo:** 3) WHEN YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP AND YOU BLAMED IT ON BAEKHYUN’S ROOMMATE HEECHUL WHO WASNT EVEN IN THE SAME APARTMENT AS US  
**do kyungsoo:** 4) when you shrunk jongdae's favourite pair of pants  
**minseok ✌️️:** *sweats*  
**minseok ✌️️:** thats fake  
**minseok ✌️️:** thats not me  
**do kyungsoo:** MINSEOK  
**minseok ✌️️:** FINE.  
**minseok ✌️️:** i told him.  
**minseok ✌️️:** IM SORRY HE COULD TELL I WAS HIDING SOMETHING  
**minseok ✌️️:** i hate lying 2 him D:  
**do kyungsoo:** 2 of those videos were of you lying to him  
**minseok ✌️️:** sometimes u gotta do stuff you dont like kyungsoo  
**minseok ✌️️:** thats what being an adult is  
**minseok ✌️️:** speaking of that  
**minseok ✌️️:** are you gonna tell chanyeol you like him??? ;)  
**do kyungsoo:** whos that  
**minseok ✌️️:** KYUNGSO O

[cut for length]

 **  
do kyungsoo:** anyway  
**do kyungsoo:** im not telling him  
**do kyungsoo:** jongdae will probably get to him first  
**minseok ✌️️:** HES NOT GONNA TELL HIM  
**do kyungsoo:** DONT LET HIM  
**do kyungsoo:** ALSO  
**do kyungsoo:** DONT LET HIM TELL BAEKHYUN EITHER  
**minseok ✌️️:** OKAY

 

_October 18th 2016  
  
_

_10:15 A.M.  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** MERGENCY EMERBCGEY N OD E RED CODE RED  
**park chanyeol is straight:**  I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE ONLINE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IT SAYS SO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WAK E UP  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i hate all if oyu so much ths is importan t

_11:05 A.M.  
  
_

**no im not:** HE LLL O  
**no im not:** IM HERE  
**no im not:** WHATS UP  
**no im not:** WHAT THE EMERGENCY    
**no im not:** BAEKHYUN  
**jongdae!!:** IM HERE HELLO  
**jongdae!!:** WHERES BAEKHYUN  
**no im not:** maybe he died  
**jongdae!!:** no way/  
**jongdae!!:** what about his plan  
**no im not:** plan??? /]  
**jongdae!!:** u knoww the PLAN the sugar daddy plan and hten die before 30 or something  
**no im not:** MURDERERS DONT KNOW ABOUT HIS PLAN DAE  
**jongdae!!:** WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MURDER  
**no im not:** YOU DID  
**jongdae!!:** NO I DIDNT  
**no im not:** YOU SAIDDEATH  
**jongdae!!:** IW ASJUST SAYING WHAT IF HE FELL OUT HIS WIDNOW OR SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER  
**no im not:** ITS NOT SHOWER DAY  
**jongdae!!:** u know his shower days??  
**no im not:** yeh he stayed over at my house during break and he only showers like every 4 days hes disgusting and during the summer its even further apart  
**no im not:** i fixed my creaky door and my bicycle chain with his hair grease  
**no im not:** FUCK Im  GETITNG SO GROSSED OUT JUST THINKING AOBUT IT FUCL  
**no im not:** HIS HAIR LOOKED WET JONGDAE  
**no im not:** WET  
**no im not:** I THOUGHT HE HAD SHOWERED SO I HUGGED HIM BUT I WAS WROGGn  
**jongdae!!:**  how does he get dicked down on the regular  
**no im not:** why hasnt yixing dipped  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK YOU GUYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** GUYS  
**no im not:** YOURE ALIVE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM NOT GROSS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im saving water im helping the earth  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM  A GOOD PERSON  
**jongdae!!:** what was ur:

 

 

> _park chanyeol is straight: MERGENCY EMERBCGEY N OD E RED CODE RED_ _  
> _ _park chanyeol is straight:  I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE ONLINE  
>  _ _park chanyeol is straight: IT SAYS SO  
>  _ _park chanyeol is straight: WAK E UP_ _  
> _ _park chanyeol is straight: i hate all if oyu so much ths is importan t_

**jongdae!!:** for  
**park chanyeol is straight:** RIGHT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok ladieths sit down  
**jongdae!!:** im sitting  
**no im not:** me too  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im freaking out ok so  u know yixinh  
**no im not:** ive heard of him yes  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OK SO SI TEXTED HIM EARLIER TODAY AND I WAS LIKE “hey u wanna hang out tonight” AND HE REPLIED LIKE 2 MINUTES LATER SAYING “i cant im going out”  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT  
**jongdae!!:** uh  
**no im not:** THAT BOOK  
**no im not:** HTAT BOOK I GOT YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT BOOK  
**no im not:** FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR  
**no im not:**  I GOT YOU THAT BOOK  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OH  YEAH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THE “GUIDE TO GUYS” BOOK ?? ??  
**no im not:** YEAH  
**no im not:** GET THAT OUT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I GOT IT ITS HERE I HAVE IT  
**no im not:** THERES GOTTA BEA TEXTING SECTION RIGHT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THERE IS im tURNING TO IT  
**no im not:** WHAT T DOES IT SAY  
**no im not:** BAEKHYU HN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THIS IS FAKE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WAHT TH EF UCK  
**no im not:** WHAT DOES IT SAY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** .  
**park chanyeol is straight:** it says  
**park chanyeol is straight:** are youready for this mess  
**jongdae!!:** does it say hes cheating on u  
**park chanyeol is straight:** it says hes cheating on me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** JONGDAE  
**no im not** : tea  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ITS NOT TEA  
**park chanyeol is straight:** its tap water  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i dont even think we’re dating ??  
**park chanyeol is straight:** like i want to btu we havent said anyt hing  
**no im not:** talk to him then ????/ tf baekhyun  
**park chanyeol is straight:** are you really telling me that chanyeol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yo ufucking got stuck in a tree trying to avoid kyungsoo  
**no im not:** im a new person now baekhyun  
**no im not:** ive been texting kyungsoo!!!! did i tell you that !!!!! for the past 5ish days!!!!!!!!! ive been sending him clips of songs ive made and hes giving me feedback!!!!!!!! he said he wants to sing stuff ive wrtien!!!! with me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WELL GOOD FOR YOU OKAY  
**jongdae!!:** im going now minseok is home  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok tell him i love him

_jongdae!! has left  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** ANYWWAYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM NOT A NEW PERSON IM STILL ME OK I HAVENT GROWN YET  
**park chanyeol is straight:** allow me this  
**no im not:** you know what we should do  
**no im not:** as mature adulties  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what  
**park chanyeol is straight:** you had me at adulties

_[cut for length]_

 

_5:03 P.M.  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️:** baekhyun where are you  
**minseok ✌️️:** baek  
**minseok ✌️️:** b ae k k  
**minseok ✌️️:** i went to your apartment to drop off the laundry you make me do  
**minseok ✌️️:** heechul said u werent home  
**minseok ✌️️:** you literally never go anywhere  
**minseok ✌️️:** also  
**minseok ✌️️:** clean your apartment  
**minseok ✌️️:** and im going grocery shopping for you bc i looked in your fridge and its just soju and leftover ramen  
**minseok ✌️️:** youre gonna die

_5:45 P.M.  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️:** baekhyun wtf  
**minseok ✌️️:** youre still not home??? ?  
**minseok ✌️️:** you better not be dead in a ditch  
**minseok ✌️️:** wheres chanyeol i know you both get notifs for this chat  
**minseok ✌️️:** i dropped off some groceries and cleaned up the kitchen a bit it was so gross youre disgusting do you know that

_5:57 P.M.  
  
_

**no im not:** MINSEOK  
**no im not:** hi  
**no im not:** since when do u do baekhyuns laundry can u do mine sehun stopped doing it  
**minseok ✌️️:** where are you guys?? im assuming u guys are together  
**no im not:** we are!!!! he says thank you for getting him groceries but he cant go on his phone rn  
**no im not:** also  
**no im not:** laundry?? pls p ls  
**minseok ✌️️:** im not your mom  
**no im not:** D;  
**minseok ✌️️:** fine  
**minseok ✌️️:** but you need to bring it to me im not going all the way to the campus to pick up your jerking it sock  
**no im not:** MINSEOK  
**minseok ✌️️:** am i wrong  
**no im not:** fine  
**no im not:** thank you :D :D :D :D  
**minseok ✌️️:** tell me what u guys are doing tho  
**minseok ✌️️:** or im not doing it  
**no im not:** its classified D;  
**no im not:** you might tell yixing  
**no im not:** WAIT  
**minseok ✌️️:** yixing?  
**no im not:** no i didnt say yixing  
**minseok ✌️️:** fine

_6:20 P.M.  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** i dont know if ur onlien but i love you minseok my bestest friend the platonic love of my life where would i be without oyu  
**park chanyeol is straight:** also its not classified anymore bc were already here so you cant stop us from doing it  
**no im not:** lets send them a pic bc we look good as hell right now

_no im not has sent a picture  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️:** what the fuck  
**minseok ✌️️:** …  
**minseok ✌️️:** your hair …  
**minseok ✌️️:** im getting jongdae oh my god

_minseok ✌️️ has added jongdae!!  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️:** look at this mess  
**jongdae!!:** OMG YOUR HAIR  
**jongdae!!:** WHY WASNT I INVITED TO THE HAIR DYING PARTY  
**jongdae!!:** THIS IS NT FAIR  
**no im not:** YOU WENT OFFLINE WE COULDNT TELL YOU THE PLAN  
**jongdae!!:** YOU CAN CONTACT ME IN OTHER WAYS LIKE COMING HERE AND TELLING ME IN PERSON  
**minseok ✌️️:** what plan  
**jongdae!!:** i think i would look good with brown hair  
**minseok ✌️️:** what. plan.  
**minseok ✌️️:** what are you guys doign  
**no im not:** ok ok one sec but also doesnt baek look good with black hair i liked his pink hair but this was super important and he would stick out really badly with it also im looking good right i got so used to my red hair i was scared when i looked in the mirror but brown fits me nice  
**no im not:** dont u think  
**no im not:** o  
**no im not:** i wonder what kyungsoo will think  
**jongdae!!:** canu  tell minseok the plan u have bc hes over here like thinking u guys are doing something super illegal  
**jongdae!!:** i keep telling him u wouldnt be able to pull something like that off  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yes we would  
**no im not:** we totally could  
**no im not:** anway i tell u  
**no im not:** since yixing said he was busy and when baek replied back asking what he was doing he said he was meeting up with someone baekhyun got like ??? wtf ???? so we dyed our hair and bouht some cool new outfits and now were sitting ina restaurant a few tables away from yixing and his friend  
**minseok ✌️️:** youre spying on him  
**no im not:** noooo  
**no im not:** well maybe a bit  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i didnt wnat to bc thats bad and yixing might think i dont trusst him but also if he finds out he might think its cute and funny and in a cute and funny kinda weird sort of way anyway dont tell him we’re only staying for a little bit  
**minseok ✌️️:** was it worth going bald for  
**no im not:** WE’RE NOT GOING BALD  
**park chanyeol is straight:** our roots were growing in anyway D;  
**no im not:** we’ll keep u guys updated byee

_6:42 P.M.  
  
_

**no im not:** ok so nothing is happening really we’ve just been sitting here drinking yixing hasnt noticed us  
**park chanyeol is straight:** that might be a bad thing chanyeol  
**no im not:** why would it be bad  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hes too immersed in the convo with that guy i dont like it  
**no im not:** you sound wh-  
**park chanyeol is straight:** take that back  
**no im not:** i didnt say anything  
**park chanyeol is straight:** you were about to  
**no im not:** fine but im not taking it back  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THIS WAS YOUR PLAN  
**no im not:** all my plans are dumb ??/ why did you agree ???  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I DONT KNOW BUT WE CANT LEAVE NOW WE’VE COMMITED I ALREADY ORDERED  
**no im not:** when  
**park chanyeol is straight:** when you were in the bathroom  
**no im not:** oh thanks  
**minseok ✌️️:** why are you typing when you’re sitting with each other  
**park chanyeol is straight:** bc yixing could probably recognize my voice and chanyeol never stops talking  
**no im not:** theyre valid points  
**minseok ✌️️:** i hate oyou guys  
**no im not:** OH MY GOD  
**no im not:** OH MY GOD !!!!  
**park chanyeol is straight:** dude what  
**no im not:** kyungsoo just texted me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i thought you said youve been texting recently  
**no im not:** we have but i still get happy whenever i see him name show up  
**park chanyeol is straight:** gay  
**no im not:** thank you for finally acknowledging it  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what does he wnt  
**no im not:** he wants to know what im doing  
**no im not:** what do i say  
**park chanyeol is straight:** tell him ur with me  
**no im not:** no  
**park chanyeol is straight:** why not??  
**no im not:** bc what if he thinks we’re “together”  
**park chanyeol is straight:** who in their right mind would think that  
**no im not:** ok true  
**no im not:** can i invite him  
**park chanyeol is straight:** no!!! what if yixing sees him!!!  
**no im not:** ill tell him to dress inconspicuously  
**park chanyeol is straight:** fine!!!!!! tell him to bring $$ tho i forgot  
**no im not:** i have some i took it from sehun  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he didn’t notice??  
**no im not:** nah he was facetiming jongin  
**park chanyeol is straight:** honestly i thought i was gay but like they’re like Gay gay  
**no im not:** kyungsoo and i are gonna be Gay gay  
**park chanyeol is straight:** not tonight you wont the fuck i dont need yixing looking over here and seeing me throwing up  
**no im not:** . fine  
**park chanyeol is straight:** wait are you guys like  
**park chanyeol is straight:** together  
**no im not:** no  
**no im not:** i dont think so  
**no im not:** our convos have mostly been about music but omg one time he put a heart emoji i amost hada heart attack  
**p** **ark chanyeol is straight:** did u do that overdramatic chest hold thing  
**no im not:** …  
**no im not:** i have a weak heart baekhyun  
**no im not:** kyungsoo is slamost here!!!  
**no im not:** oh y ufcck  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HCNAYEOL  
**minseok ✌️️:** what happened  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur still here??  
**minseok ✌️️:** im reading the notifs as they show up  
**minseok ✌️️:** im watching a drama with jongdae  
**minseok ✌️️:** what happened  
**park chanyeol is straight:** chanyeol happened  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE ALMOST BLEW OUR COVER  
**no im not:** IM SORRY OKAY  
**no im not:** kyungsoo sent a selfie minseok!!! a selfie!!!! a picture of himself tkaen by himself  
**minseok ✌️️:** im aware what selfies are  
**park chanyeol is straight:** and this giant had a fucking seizure or something and knocked over his glass of water it was loud people looked over i dont think yixing saw us tho  
**minseok ✌️️:** well as long as yixing didnt see you  
**no im not:** right !! its not that big of adeal  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur right sorry just .. be care ful please  
**no im not:** roger that  
**minseok ✌️️:** stay out of trouble  
**no im not:** sure thing!!!! you can trust us  
**minseok ✌️️:** i trust kyungsoo  
**no im not:** true  
**no im not:** omg  
**no im not:** hes here omg  
**no im not:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** that was fast  
**no im not:** i think his apt is around here somewhere  
**no im not:** do i look like im sweating  
**no im not:** i feel like im sweating  
**no im not:** god im so gross  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ill add him to this chat so he doesn’t have to talk yixing would def hear him ur voices together are super loud  
**no im not:** um okay yeah i cant sound dumb in text  
**park chanyeol is straight:** well

_park chanyeol is straight has added do kyungsoo  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** do kyungsoo!!! how are you  
**do kyungsoo:** why  
**park chanyeol is straight:** we cant talk bc yixing might hear us  
**do kyungsoo:** this restaurant is packed i dont think he would  
**park chanyeol is straight:** THIS IS HOW ITS HAPPENING KYUNGSOO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** if you dont like it leave  
**minseok ✌️️:** hi kyungsoo!  
**do kyungsoo:** hi minseok  
**minseok ✌️️:** whrere did chanyeol go  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he ran to the bathroom as soon as kyungsoo came in  
**park chanyeol is straight:** nice outfit btw  
**do kyungsoo:** thank you i take stakeouts very seriously  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i cant tell if thats meant to be sarcastic or not  
**do kyungsoo:** its not  
**do kyungsoo:** ive done this before  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ooooh when with out why  
**do kyungsoo:** a few weeks ago my friend junmyeon and thats classified sorry  
**park chaneyol is straight:** hm youre a mysterious man do kyungsoo  
**do kyungsoo:** i try  
**do kyungsoo:** is chanyeol coming back any time soon  
**park chanyeol is straight:** who knows hes probably pacing or something  
**do kyungsoo:** should i go check on him?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** negative soldier  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he might have a heart attack if you barge in there  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he has a weak heart you know  
**do kyungsoo:** hes told me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** so  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what else has he told u what do u guys talk about  
**do kyungsoo:** im not having this converstation with you  
**park chanyeol is straight:** good thing we’re having a conversation and not whatever that is  
**do kyungsoo:** no  
**do kyungsoo:** oh  
**do kyungsoo:** is that chanyeol?  
**do kyungsoo:** his hair.  
**no im not:** hi kyungsoo  
**do kyungsoo:** your hair  
**no im not:** what aobut it  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL CONTAIN YOUR LIMBS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** STOP KNOCKING OVER GLASSES  
**no im not:** its not my fault  
**park chanyeol is straight:** how is it not your fault  
**do kyungsoo:** it kinda was your fault  
**no im not:** it was kyungsoos fault!!!!  
**do kyungsoo:** how was that my fault  
**no im not:** you  said my hair and i thought something was wrong so i put my hands up to see andi knocked over the glass  
**no im not:** see clearly your fault  
**park chanyeol is straight:** clearly  
**do kyungsoo:** i wasn't saying something was wrong its looks nice i was just surprised because a few days ago it was red  
**no im not:** oh yeah  
**park chanyeol is straight:** hey can anyone hear was yixing is saying im trying to read his lips but i think he might be talking in chinese  
**do kyungsoo:** of course he is  
**park chanyeol is straight:** how do you know  
**do kyungsoo:** that’s his friend from china?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU KNOW HIM  
**do kyungsoo:** kind of  
**do kyungsoo:** i heard yixing talking about his friend coming to visit to yesterday  
**park chanyeol is straight:** you didnt think that that was something you should tell me  
**do kyungsoo:** why would i  
**do kyungsoo:** im not dating you  
**no im not:** thats good  
**do kyungsoo:** what?  
**no im not:** nothing continue  
**park chanyeol is straight:** w-were here bc i thought yixing might be not-cheating on me since its not really cheating cause were not official but i just wanted to see if he was still seeing other people why wouldnt you say something if  you knew why we were here  
**do kyungsoo:** oh sorry  
**do kyungsoo:** i thought you were aware  
**do kyungsoo:** its not like its still not a possibility  
**do kyungsoo:** you can sleep with friends  
**park chanyeol is straight:** thats true thank you  
**do kyungsoo:** no problem

_7:54 P.M.  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️:** are you guys still at it  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yes  
**park chanyeol is straight:** of course  
**minseok ✌️️:** hows chanyeol  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ugh  
**minseok ✌️️:** ugh?  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yes ugh  
**minseok ✌️️:** why ugh  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he wont stop staring at kyungsoo  
**minseok ✌️️:** and  
**park chanyeol is straight:** and kyungsoo is staring back!!!! and they keep whispering to each other the fuck im right here  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im not here for their gay im here for my gay  
**minseok ✌️️:** let them live  
**minseok ✌️️:** theyre cute  
**no im not:** omg thanks minseok  
**do kyungsoo:** stop  
**do kyungsoo:** we’re not staring at each other  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur right  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ur kinda just staring at ur phone blushing while sneaking peaks at each other  
**no im not:** !!!!  
**no im not:** really??  
**no im not:** aw kyungsoo  
**do kyungsoo:** you’re doing it too idiot  
**no im not:** :D  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im gagging  
**park chanyeol is straight:** oh fuck  
**no im not:** shit  
**minseok ✌️️:** what  
**do kyungsoo:** baekhyun was actually gagging  
**do kyungsoo:** very loudly  
**do kyungsoo:** oh my god  
**do kyungsoo:** chanyeol is laughing  
**do kyungsoo:** very loudly  
**do kyungsoo:** there goes another glass of water  
**no im not:** shit  
**no im not:** ABORT  
**no im not:** ABORT  
**no im not:** yixing  
**minseok ✌️️:** omg did he see you guys  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK F CU FK FUCK SHIT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he just snapchatted me  
**park chanyeol is straight:** fuck

_park chanyeol is straight has sent an image  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** ITS OF US  
**park chanyeol is straight:** RIGHT NOW  
**park chanyeol is straight:** SHIT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** im looking over oh yup hes waving fuck ok  
**park chanyeol is straight:** we’re just on a date ok guys  
**no im not:** gross baekhyun  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT DO OYU HAVE AGAINST POLYAM M.. polyarmoury.. dating more than one person not like sister wives but like 3 people all dating each other not just one person dating 2 people  
**no im not:** nothing i meant dating you  
**do kyungsoo:** its polyamory baekhyun  
**park chanyeol is straight:** close enough  
**no im not:** go over there  
**do kyungsoo:** yeah hes already seen you  
**do kyungsoo:** its not like he knows  
**park chanyeol is straight:** yah youre right ok  
**park chanyeol is straight:** okay here i go  
**no im not:** u got this  
**no im not:** also we’re leaving  
**do kyungsoo:** we are?  
**no im not:** yeah!! i have some stuff i want to show you!!  
**do kyungsoo:** stuff.  
**do kyungsoo:** like your dick or?  
**no im not:** KKYUNGS O O  
**no im not:** NO OH YM  OD  
**no im not:** I MEANT MUSIC STUFFS  
**do kyungsoo:** oh okay  
**no im not:** uh  
**no im not:** do you-  
**do kyungsoo:** how about we talk about this at my apartment  
**no im not:** okay yeah  
**park chanyeol is straight:** GUYS DONT LEAVE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** GUYS

 **  
** _do kyungsoo has left  
_ _no im not has left_

  
**park chanyeol is straight:** FUCK YOU GUYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i also made a kpop sideblog on tumblr so you guys can message me about this fic or any of my fics or just chansoo in general!! (def message me abt the pcyis universe tho i have tons of ideas) [here](http://www.byiun.tumblr.com)


	8. anime tittie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **park chanyeol is straight:** oh god when he was changing??? how scandalous kyungsoo??? do u know how to sew??? better embroider an “A” on ur clothes for being a hoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god??????? im so sorry for leaving this fic for so long i really didn't mean to im just busy with school and i kinda lost motivation for it too but im back and i hope you enjoy this chapter im so sad that its almost over, also this chapter is kinda short i think?? im not sure whats short and whats not anymore but pls enjoy and have fun w these dumbasses
> 
> p.s theres something new in there and i apologize if u dont like it i just wanted to try it out let me know if u want me to do it again or not when u read this

_ 8:57 P.M.  
  
_ **park chanyeol is straight:** I FUCKING HATE  YOU G UYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOURE ALL DEAD TO ME FUCK YOU OH Y GO I HATE YOU HSO MUCH  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM BLOCKING ALL OF OYU ON INSTAGRAM  
**minseok ✌️️:** stop being dramatic  
**minseok ✌️️:** just go over there before i kill u  
**park chanyeol is straight:** can y ou   
**park chanyeol is straight:** please  
**minseok ✌️️:** i dont want 2 move right now  
**minseok ✌️️:** ill kill u later  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE LOOKED OVER HERE AGAIN  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM BEGINNIGN TO THINK THIS DISGUISE DIDNT WORK  
**minseok ✌️️:** …  
**minseok ✌️️:** .  
**park chanyeol is straight:** DONT DOT ME   
**minseok ✌️️:** YOURE BEING AN IDIOT I CAN DOT YOU IF YOURE BEING AN IDIOT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I MRUNNIGN G  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i RAN I RANNED I RUN  
**minseok ✌️️:** WHAT ARE YOU DOING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I RANNED  
**minseok ✌️️:** WHERE DID YOU RUNNED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** BATHROOM  
**minseok ✌️️:** WHY  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HHH BECAUSE IM STALKING MY BOYFRIEND AND HE SAW ME  
**minseok ✌️️:** YU ADMITTEDH ES YOUR BOYFRIEND  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WELL I WANT HIM TO BE  
**minseok ✌️️:** GO TALK TO HIM  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NEVER IM CALLING YOU I LOCKED THE DOOR AND I MCALLING YOU  
**minseok ✌️️:** IM IN BED  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ITS NINE  
**minseok ✌️️:** AND  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM CALLING YOU 

_  
park chanyeol is straight has requested a video call.. _

  
“What the fuck Baekhyun?” Minseok’s voice shoots through the speakers and Baekhyun jumps at the sound. His hands shake slightly against the metal door handle, fingers toying with the lock. He looks down at his phone, Minseok’s face is squished into a pillow.  
  
“Don’t what the fuck me,” Baekhyun grumbles, “I’m panicking.”  
  
“Like actually panicking?” Minseok shifts on his bed, the comforter sends static into Baekhyun’s earphones and he flinches. Minseok mutters an apology. He moves away from the door, the sounds of music and plates clattering fading away until he’s left with the buzz of the flickering lights on the ceiling.  
  
“No, not actually panicking, actually— ” He rubs his hands down his face and his voice gets lost in between his fingers. “I’m fine I think, I just don’t know what to say to him.”  
  
Minseok sighs and Baekhyun pouts. “Don’t think about it right now then ,I mean you’re gonna have to leave there eventually but put it off for as long as you can.”  
  
Baekhyun snorts, “Good advice.”  
  
Minseok smiles and Baekhyun can only see the corners of his mouth, the lighting in his room is too dark and his phone is too old, the quality is complete shit but it’s nice to see him, even like this. There’s a far away groan from Minseok’s side and Baekhyun’s head lifts at the sound.  
  
“Is Jongdae there?”  
  
Minseok nods, “Yeah, he was just sleeping but I think your whining woke him up.”  
  
“I wasn’t whining. Leave me alone.”  
  
“To quote someone dear to me,” He clears his throat and Jongdae laughs on the other side of his phone, “Never.”  
  
Baekhyun slides down the far wall of the bathroom, his feet skidding across the greasy, stained floors. Something sticky seeps into the back pocket of his jeans. “That person sounds very intelligent.”  
  
“He’s okay sometimes.”  
  
Baekhyun smiles at his camera and then grimaces when he catches his eyes on the screen. He looks disgusting. Well, more disgusting than usual. Not as disgusting as the summer though, those were prime grease days.  
  
Minseok doesn’t say anything for a while, just makes faces at Jongdae laying down beside him who’s trying to flick the phone from his grip.  
  
“Where did Chanyeol and Kyungsoo go?” Jongdae asks after the phone hits Minseok in the face.  
  
Baekhyun’s face scrunches up. “Don’t mention either of them to me ever again.” He goes to spit on the ground but it just hangs from his lip, then sadly drops onto his sweater. “Fuck.”  
  
Jongdae laughs and the phone shakes with him, the shitty camera pixelating every few seconds. “Stop doing that you dumbass It feels like I’m skyping with a fucking brick, stop being so poor and get a better phone.”  
  
“I’ll get right on that, I’ll start by selling that signed Girls Generation album you left here a few weeks ago.”  
  
Baekhyun stands, his grip tightening around his matte black IPhone 7 “Don’t do that! What the fuck Jongdae! Don’t say that— Oh my god what the fuck take that back.”  
  
“Anyways,” Minseok interrupts, “Back to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo — I really didn’t think they’d ever admit that they liked each other.”  
  
Baekhyun and Jongdae both laugh at the same time, the sound of cackling taking over both sides of the screen. “You think they admitted that they like one another?” Baekhyun leans forward, his body shaking in silent laughter. “They could be married and Kyungsoo would still think that Chanyeol only likes him as a friend.”  
  
There’s shifting on Minseok’s side of the call, the screen fills with black then Jongdae shows up, undoubtedly squishing his boyfriend in the process. “Yeah babe, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol both think the other is out of their league, which is amazingly laughable.”  
  
“They’re not even in the league Minseok, _I’m_ the league, just me.” Baekhyun wipes the tears from his eyes as he speaks, his cheeks hurting. “They’re the people on the stands _watching_ the league with those Styrofoam fingers and shitty hot dogs.  
  
“Hey!” Jongdae interjects, “I’m part of the league too.” Minseok coughs. “and Minseok.”  
  
Baekhyun huffs. “No, I’m the league and maybe Yixing if he doesn’t kill me, maybe his friend Junmyeon too, he’s cute.”  
  
Jongdae whines and Baekhyun cringes at the sounds. “Let me in, Minseok can die just let me in.” There’s a grumble from beside Jongdae and Baekhyun assumes its Minseok saying thanks.  
  
“There’s no way in hell—” Fuck. Baekhyun’s head whips up at the sound of the bathroom handle being jiggled. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He whispers. Baekhyun takes a few steps towards the door, careful to be quiet.  
  
“Baekhyun?” Yixing’s voice is quiet through the thick metal but it makes Baekhyun jump nonetheless. He falls backwards, his phone slamming against the large sink. The motion sets off the water and soon the bathroom is filled with nothing but Baekhyun’s pathetic whispers of “please turn off, please.” directed at the faucet.  
  
“What are you d—” Jongdae asks and Baekhyun hangs up the call before he can finish. Something he’s done before.  
  
 _the video call has ended.  
  
_ **park chanyeol is straight:** HES OUTSEID THE BATHROOM  
 **minseok ✌️️:** WHY DID YOU HANG UP  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** BECAUSE HES OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM  
 **minseok ✌️️:** oh my god im g oing to bed go talk to him before i actually come over there are kill you.  
 **minseok ✌️️:** seriously baekhyun  
  
 _minseok ✌️️ has left  
  
_ **park chanyeol is straight:**  i want new friends

_  
9:14 A.M.  
  
_ **do kyungsoo:** good morning what time is baekhyuns funeral i want to cook something for the wake?? is kimchi spaghetti okay with everyone??  
**do kyungsoo:** are all you really still sleeping  
**do kyungsoo:** wake up or im chopping off my hands and im never cooking for any of u ever again  
**park chanyeol is straight:** have u ever cooked for us we just became friends  
**do kyungsoo:** well if i chop off my arms im never going to  
**park chanyeol is straight:** stop changing the limbs ur decapitating  
**do kyungsoo:** decapitating is just cutting off the head  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i dont  htink so  
**do kyungsoo:** i think so  
**do kyungsoo:** so does wiki  [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decapitation  
](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decapitation) **park chanyeol is straight:** curse u wiki gods  
**do kyungsoo:** also??? youre alive???   
**park chanyeol is straight:** ikr???? shooketh   
**do kyungsoo:** never say that again  
**park chanyeol is straight:** dont tell me what to do  
**do kyungsoo:** ..  
**park chanyeol is straight:** anyways yixing forgave me and i sucked his dick in the bathroom  
**do kyungsoo:** thanks  
**park chanyeol is straight:** we also had sex in there too but i didnt want to give u too many deets  
**do kyungsoo:** thanks  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i took a video do u want it   
**park chanyeol is straight:** its hot   
**do kyungsoo:** ill pass maybe next time   
**park chanyeol is straight:** ALSO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what were u doing with my boy chanyeol after u guys left me there TO DIE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** did he finally d*ck u down????  
**do kyungsoo:** the opposite   
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU D*CKED HIM DOWN?????????  
  
_ do kyungsoo has left  
_ _ park chanyeol is straight has added do kyungsoo  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** you cant just leave me like that u asshole  
**do kyungsoo:** i refuse to answer any questions without my lawyer present  
**park chanyeol is straight:** fine  
  


_ park chanyeol is straight has added kim junmyeon  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** HI KIM JUNMYEON IM BAEKHYUN RMEMBER ME ANYWAYS YOURE GONNA BE A LWAYER RIGHT  
**kim junmyeon:** idk what a lwayer is but im gonna be a lawyer  
**kim junmyeon:** and i remember u yixing talks about you alot its kinda hard not too  
**park chanyeol is straight:** omg  
**park chanyeol is straight:** he does  
**park chanyeol is straight:** o u want a video i took of us having sex in a bathroom  
**do kyungsoo:** BAEKHYUN  
**do kyungsoo:** DONT ANSWER THAT JUNMYEON  
**do kyungsoo:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU  
**park chanyeol is straight:** IM BEIGN NICE FUCK YOU KYUNGSOO ITS A GOOD VIDEO I USED GOOD SHOTS AND IM RPOUD OF IT OKAY SORRY THAT I WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING I CREATED WITH  
PEOPLE  
**do kyungsoo:** A SEX TAPE DOESNT COUNT YOU HEATHEN  
**kim junmyeon:**  i mean if u want me to have it you can email it to me  
**do kyungsoo:** jesus christ  
**kim junmyeon:** im actually junmyeon   
**park chanyeol is straight:** I JUST GROANED OUT LOUD   
**park chanyeol is straight:** ARE YOU LAUGHING RIGHT NOW JUNMYEON BC I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE  
**kim junmyeon:** ???? of course it  was funny???/  
**do kyungsoo:** im going back to bed  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NO   
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOURE STAYING YOUR LAWYER IS HERE  
**do kyungsoo:** HES NOT MY LAWYER  
**kim junmyeon:** IM NOT A LAWYER YET TF  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ANSWER THE QUESTION KYUNGSOO DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH CHANYEOL YES OR NO  
**do kyungsoo:** NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I TOTALLY THOUGHT U DID  
**park chanyeol is straight:** DID U AT LEAST SEE HIS DICK????  
**do kyungsoo:** when he was changing into sweats i did a little bit  
**park chanyeol is straight:** oh god when he was changing??? how scandalous kyungsoo??? do u know how to sew??? better embroider an “A” on ur clothes for being a hoe  
**do kyungsoo:** oh my god shut up i hate you so much  
**do kyungsoo:** how  the hell do you know how to spell embroider but not polyamorous  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i dont know her  
**park chanyeol is straight:** wtf did u guys do then   
**do kyungsoo:** stuff  
**kim junmyeon:** thats vague  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i agree  
**do kyungsoo:** JUST STUFF LEAVE ME ALONE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** o junmyeon yixing just textedme  and askedm e to ask you if u wnated to come over for movie night tonight he said uwanted to show him star wars  
**kim junmyeon:** !!!!!!!!  
**kim junmyeon:** yes!!!!!!!!!!!  
**kim junmyeon:** vrrhhh fhrrn   
**kim junmyeon:** those are my lightsaber noises  
**park chanyeol is straight:** VRHSHH VHRROOM VSHHH   
**park chanyeol is straight:** DO YOU AHVE ANY  
**kim junmyeon:** i have several  
**park chanyeol is straight:** bring them!!!!! BRIGN THEM I WANT TO USE ONE  
  


_ do kyungsoo has left  
_ _ park chanyeol is straight has added do kyungsoo  
  
_

**do kyungsoo:** damn  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOURE NOT SNEAKY U SNEAK  
**do kyungsoo:** CAN I LEAVE PLS PLEASE  
**park chanyeol is straight:** NOT UNTIL U ANSWER MY QUESTION  
**do kyungsoo:** I DID ALREADY  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WELL WHAT IS STUFF   
 **park chanyeol is straight:** TELL ME   
**do kyungsoo:** NO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU HAVE TO  
**do kyungsoo:** I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING  
  
_ park chanyeol is straight has sent an image _

**  
do kyungsoo:** DONT POUT HOW OLD ARE YOU  
**kim junmyeon:** are you naked????7  
**kim junmyeon:** why are you naked?????? do u sleep naked????  
  


_ do kyungsoo has sent an image  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** yes  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT HTEU FCU K  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** DONT FLIP ME OFF  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WAIT  
 **do kyungsoo:** fuc  
 **do kyungsoo:** k  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATS NOT YOUR APARTMENT  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATS NOT YOUR  PALCE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** ARE OYU AT HCNAYEOLS DORM  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** ID RECONGNIE THOSE RILAKKUMA SHEETS ANYWHERE  
 **do kyungsoo:** HHHH NO IM AT HOME  
 **do kyungsoo:** I BOUGHT THESE  
 **do kyungsoo:** THEYRE MINE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATS NOT EVEN HELPING BC I ONLY KNOW ONE PERSON WHO LIKES THAT BEAR AND ITS CHANYEOL ASO U IF U WERE AT HOME ANDU BOUGHT THEM U PROBABLY BOUGHT THEM THINKING OFHIM  
 **do kyungsoo:** FUCK YOU BYUN NO I DIDNT THEYRE CUTE OK FUCKK OFF  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** IM GONNA GO OVER TO YOUR PLACE RN   
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU BETTER ANSWER   
**park chanyeol is straight:** IF YOURE LYING IM GONNA CRY  
 **do kyungsoo:** STOP  
 **do kyungsoo:** im not at home  
 **do kyungsoo:** im w chanyeol  
 **kim junmyeon:** omg  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** BITCH  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** I KNEW IT  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** O YOU DID FUCK  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** BITCH HH FH  
 **kim junmyeon:** shit  
 **kim junmyeon:** i owe yixing  ₩10000  
 **do kyungsoo:** WHY WOULD YOU OWE YIXING MONEY  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** I FORGOT ABOUT THE BET FUCK  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** I OWE MINSEOK AND JONGDAE  
 **do kyungsoo:** WHAT ARE YOU BETTING  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** HOW SOON U WOULD GET TOGETHER  
 **do kyungsoo:** WE DIDNT GET TOGETHER TF  
 **kim junmyeon:** THEN WHAT HAPPENED  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** YEAH KYUNGSOO U ARE IN HIS BED SHIRTLESS?????   
**do kyungsoo:** FINE SINCE U WANT TO KNOW SO BAD  
 **do kyungsoo:** WE WERE GONNA GO BACK TO MY PLACE BUT HCANYEOL NEEDED TO STOP BY HIS DORM TO GET HIS LAPTOP BC HE WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING BUT WE JUST ENDED UP STAYING BC WHY WOULD BE WALK MORE AND IDK WE JUST KINDA LAYEDO N HIS BED LISTENING TO STUFF HE PRODUCED AND HE SHOWED ME THE LYRICS HE WROTE AND WE WERE SINGING TOGETHER NAD FUCK BAEKHYUN AND JUNMYEON I KNOW YOU KNOW I LIKE HIM SO FUCK IT IT WAS SO NICE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** AHHHHhhhh  
 **do kyungsoo:** I KINDA WANTED OT FUCK HIM BUT IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER?????? IDK IT WAS JUT SO NICE OT HANG OUT WITH IM AND LISTEN TO MUSIC AND HE HAS A SONG THAT HE SAID HE WROTE FOR ME TO SING AND I PUNCHED HIM IN THE ARM BC WHAT THE UFCK WHO DOES THAT WHO FUCKING DOES THAT  
 **do kyungsoo:** HE FELL ASLEEP BEFORE ME AND I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE SO I JUST WENT TO SLEEP TOO  
 **kim junmyeon:**  thats so cute im screenshotting that  
 **do kyungsoo:** dont show anyone >:(  
 **kim junmyeon:** i wont i just like cute things like  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** IS HE STILL ASLEEP  
 **do kyungsoo:** yes fuc k   
**kim junmyeon:** what  
  


_ do kyungsoo has sent an image  
  
_

**kim junmyeon:** !!!!!!!!!  
**kim junmyeon:** THATS HIM ARM  
**do kyungsoo:** I KNOW  
  


_do kyungsoo has sent an image  
  
  
_ **park chanyeol is straight:** BITCH  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATS HIM FACE IN UR NECK  
 **do kyungsoo:** I KNOW I DONT WANT TO MOVE  
 **do kyungsoo:** WAIT SHIT I THINK HES WAKING UP IM GONNA GO  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** HES GONNA SEE WHAT U WROTE WHEN HE LOGS ON  
 **do kyungsoo:** FUCK JUST SPAM IT OR SOMETHING HE’LL GET TOO TIRED TO CATCH UP  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** ONE SEC IM GONNA SEE IF JONGDAE’S UP BC HE LIKES SPAMMING   
**do kyungsoo:** lmao okay im gonna go  
  


_ do kyungsoo has left  
_ _ jongdae!! has come online  
  
_

**jongdae!!:** bitch omg  
 **park chanyeol is straight:**  iknow  
 **jongdae!!:** JUNMYEON HI  
 **jongdae!!:** I DIDNT KNOW U WERE APART OF THIS GC  
 **kim junmyeon:** THEY JUST ADDED ME  
 **jongdae!!:** THATS OS COOL I DIDNT KNWO  U HADSKYPE  
 **jongdae!!:** WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON  
 **kim junmyeon:**  OKAY  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** hey  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** im still here  
 **jongdae!!:** ok pcy will probably get up soon so i will save kyungsoo’s lovely ass  
 **jongdae!!:** ahem  
 **jongdae!!:** According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry - Adam? - Can you believe this is happening? \- I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!  
  


_ [cut for length]  
_

_  
10:11 A.M.  
  
_ **no im not:** HI GUYS  
 **no im not:** ITS ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS BUT I T FEELS LIKE I HAVENT TALKED TO U GUYS IN MONTHS  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** I KNOW WTF  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WE WERE LITERALLY TOGETHER LAST NIFHT  
 **no im not:** YOURE ALIVE U DIDNT DIE WHAT DID YIXING SAY WHEN HE SAW U  
 **no im not:** U GOTTA TELL ME I DONT WANT TO SCROLL UP  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** IT WAS FINE I APLGOZED LIKE TEN TIMES BUT NOW HES MY BOYFREIND LIKE 100% MINE CHANYEOL WE’RE DATING!!!!!!! AND WE HAD SEXI NTHE IN THE BATHROOM BC WHY NOT   
**no im not:** YOOOOOOOO  
 **no im not:** DID U TAKE A VIDEO  
 **park chanyeol is straight:**  WHO DO U THINK I AM  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** OF COURSE I TOO KA VIDEO  
 **no im not:** BTIHC UPLOAD THAT SHIT ON PORNHUB OR SOEMTIHNG GET FAMOUS  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** I GOTTA ASK YIXING FIRST DUMBASS  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** BUT MAYBE  
 **no im not:** GET THAT PORNHUB JUICE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩ ₩  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** HWATH APPENED WITH KYUNGSOO  
 **no im not:** WAIT WHER EIS EVERYONE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** OH JONGDAE WAS HERE BUT HIM AND MINSEOK WERE GOING TO THE FARMERS MARKET JUNMYEON WAS HERE TOO BUT HE WENT TO WORK AND IDK WHERE KYUNGSOO IS  
 **no im not:** KYUNGSOO’S HERE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** NO  
 **no im not:** YES  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** DID U GUYS FUCK  
 **no im not:** SDKGSDJ K NO OH MY GOD  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THEN WHAT HAPPENED WHY IS HERE THERWE  
 **no im not:** PEOPLE  CAN HANGOUT WITHOUT HAVING SEX YOU FIEND  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATS SO BORING THO TF DO YOU DO IF YOURE NOT TOUCHING DICKS  
 **no im not:** DO OTHER S TUFF  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT OTHER STUFF DID  YOU DO THEN  
 **no im not:** AHHHHH IT WAS SO NICE BAEKHYUN WE LISTENED TO THE MUSIC I MADE AND HE WAS SINGING AND I SHOWEDH IM THE SONG AND  HE LIKED IT AND HE SAID THAT WE SHOULD MAKE SONGS TOGETHER AND POST THEM ON YOTUUBE OR SOEMTHING AND I ALMOST CRIEDHE PUNCHED ME WHEN I SHOWEDH IM IT BUT HE WAS SMILING SO BIG BAEKHYUN HIS SMILE IS SO NICE FUCK  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** THATSO GA Y  
 **no im not:** FUCKI KNOW  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** YOU GOTTA KISS THAT BOI MAN  
 **no im not:** I KNOW FUCK   
**no im not:** WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE ME THO  
 **no im not:** WHAT IF HE JUSTLIKES ME AS A FRIEND  
 **no im not:** ID DIE   
**no im not:** ID S TILL BE HIS FRIEND BC I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM BUT ID DIE  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** damn u are so dramatic  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** just ask him out u pwussy  
 **no im not:** dont call me that  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** then dont be it  
 **no im not:** DONT EVEN TALK TO ME YOU FUCKING STALKED THE GUY YOU LIKE BC U DIDNT KNOW IF UWERE DATING OR NOT AND U DIDNT  WANT TO ASK HIM U CANT CALL ME A PWUSYS  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** FINE FUCK YOU DONT ASK HIM OUT JUST WITHER AWAY AND LIVE UR LIFE WONDERIGN WHAT COULD HAVEB EEN YOU ASSHOLE DONT COME WHINING TO ME WHNE U SEE HIM WITH SOMEONE ELSE BC I WONT BE SYMPATHTIC U HAD UR CHANCE  
 **no im not:** WHAT THE FUCKC DONT SAY THAT  
 **no im not:** HES NOT GONNA BE WITH ANYONE ELSE  
 **no im not:** i mean  
 **no im not:** i hope not  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** sorry  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** that was kinda mean   
**no im not:** no ur right   
**no im not:** i gotta do something or im gonna regret it  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** :) :) :) :)  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** where is he now  
 **no im not:** bathroom showering i think he didnt have any other clothes so he took some of mine im not prepared ofr him 2 come out  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** SHIT  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** YOUR CLOTHES ARE GONNA DROWN HIM  
 **no im not:** I KNOW  
 **no im not:** OK OK OMG DO U KNOW WHEN THE FARMERS MARKET CLOSES  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** 1 ITHINK  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** WHY  
 **no im not:** KYUNGSOO IS A HEATLYH PERSON IM GONNA TAKE HIM THERE   
**park chanyeol is straight:** OMG  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** NICE  
 **no im not:** OK HES COMING OUT I’LL TELL U WHAT HE SAYS  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** OKAY   
  


_ no im not has left  
_ _ minseok ✌️️ has come online  
  
_

**minseok ✌️️** **:** WHAT DID I MISS  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** WHATS HAPPENING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL'S GONNA ASK KYUNGSOO OUT TO THE FARMERS MARKET  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** OMG I WAS JUST THERE  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** HE GOT THAT FARMERS MARKET MONEY THO  
**park chanyeol is straight:** JKGJD PROBABLY HE WORKS A LOT  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** CHANYEOL HAS A JOB???  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YEAH I JSUT LIKES TO PRETEND  HES BROKE SO PPL PAY FOR HIM  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** TF DOES HE DO IVE NEVER SEEN HIM WEAR A UNIFORM OR ANYTHING  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HE WRITES MUSIC FOR COMMERCIALS LIKE JINGLES AND STUFF    
**minseok ✌️️** **:** ISNT THAT LIKE AN ACTUAL JOB TH O THATPPL GO TO SHCOOL FOR  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** IDK MANS HE DOES IT SO  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** WELL THAT COOL GOOD FOR HIM   
**minseok ✌️️** **:** CHANYEOL HURRY UP I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT HE SAYS  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I KNOW WTF IS TAKING SO LONG HES JUST GONNA SPEAK  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** knowing chanyeol itll take him 10 minutes just to say kyungsoo’s name  
**park chanyeol is straight:** ok true but like i got things to do   
**park chanyeol is straight:** whys he acting like im justgonna wait all day  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** youve neber once not been online since t his gc started  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** you dont even have a job  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** last time i checked heechul doesnt either  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** how tf u pay ur rent  
**park chanyeol is straight:** anyways  
**park chanyeol is straight:** i do have job thank u very much its called bieng fucking awesome and i get payed it titties  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** like girl titties??  
**park chanyeol is straight:** what else kinda t ittes??? anime???  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** well  
**park chanyeol is straight:** fuck u i seen a tittie  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** ok baekhyun whatever u say  
  


_ no im not has come online  
  
_

**no im not:** HOLY HSIT HSHOY SLSH TI SHIT   
**no im not:** HOY SHTU HIS SKJFDJF SDGHSJK  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** WHAT  
**park chanyeol is straight:** HWAT  
**no im not:** b HOYL GSJD GUYS WHTAHT EU FCCK  
**no im not:** GUYS  
**no im not:** GUYS  
**no im not:** GUYSSUDG  
**park chanyeol is straight:** WHAT FUCKER WE’RE L ISTENDING  
**no im not:** GUYSYSYYSYSYS  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** CHANYEOL SHUT UP BEFORE I BLOCK YOU   
**minseok ✌️️** **:** WHAT IS IT  
**no im not:** GUESS  
**no im not:** JUST G UESS COMEON  
**park chanyeol is straight:** I AM NOT PLAYING THESE GAMES JUST TELL US  
**no im not:** FINE YOU LOSERS  
**no im not:** OH MY GOD OKAY   
**no im not:** OKAY OKAY OKAY LISTEN  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** WERE LSITNESIDNG  
**no im not:** OKAY OKAY  
**no im not:** OKAY SO I WAS SITTING ON MY BED WIATING FOR KYUNGSOO TO GET OUT OF THE SHOWER AND I WAS JUST ON MY PHONE AND I HEARD THE DOOR OPEN AND OH MY GOD HE WALKEDO UT AND HELOOEKD SO GOOD LIKE HIS FACE WAS ALL RED FROM THE WATER AND HE WAS WEARING ONE OF SWEATERS AND FUCK HE HAD A PAIR OF MY BOXERS ON TOO BC HE IDNT LIKE BAEKHYUN AND GROSS AND ANYWAY HE LOOKED SO GOOD AND FUCK  
**no im not:** AND ANYWAYS OMG SO I WAS LIKE “HEY KYUNGSOO UHM ITS KINDA DUMB AND U DONT HAVE TO SAY YES OR ANYTHING BUT UHMM THERS LIKE THIS FARMERS MARKET IN TOWN AND MINSEOK AND JONGDAE GO ALL THE TIME AND THEY LOVE IT AND I WAAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU— “ AND I DIDNT EVEN GET TO ACTUALLY ASK HIM BECAUSE HE KISSED ME  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** OH MY GOD  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** CHANYEOL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CAHNYEO LL  
**park chanyeol is straight:** CHANYEOL OMG  
**park chanyeol is straight:** OH MY GOD  
**no im not:** I KNOW OH MY OGD IM GONAN CRY HES SO CUTE AND I T WAS SONICE  
**no im not:** FUCK HE EVEN SAT ON MY LAPI ALMOST POPPED A BONER  
**park chanyeol is straight:** YOU  DIDNT ?? IM SO PROUD OF YOU  
**no im not:**  I DIDNT WANT TORUIN THE MOMENT  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** WHY ARE YOU ON UR PHONE WHY ARENT U KISSING HIM  
**no im not:** WELL I WANTED TO BUT HE SAID HE WATNED TO GO TO THE MARKET SO HES PUTTING HIS PANTS AND SHOES ON FUCK IM GONNA KISS HIM AGAIN MAYBE  
**minseok ✌️️** **:** DO IT  
**no im not:** FUCK OKAY IM GONNA GO   
**park chanyeol is straight:** HAVE fun  
  


_ no im not has left  
  
_

**park chanyeol is straight:** LOOK ATHIM MINSEOK  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** HES GROWING UP  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** im so happy for him  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** he really deserves this  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** they both do  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:**  i honestly didnt think it would happen tho  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** same i thought they were both too dumb  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** props to kyungsoo tho  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** i think im gonna bake them a cake  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** its gonna say: congrats on kissing :-)  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** can i come help  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** jongdaes here he can help me  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** i want 2 help  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** fine  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** ok i;ll come rn bci  im doing something with yixing later !!!! im so excited our first date as real bfs  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** oooooooooh where are u going  
 **park chanyeol is straight:** idk its a surprise!!!!hes gonna surprise me isnt that cute i like him so much  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** thati s cute!!! okay come over i’ll go wake jongdae up bc he fell asleep again  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** we can make cupcakes for yixing too   
**park chanyeol is straight:** OKAY YES im coming do i have to get dressed  
 **minseok ✌️️** **:** you cant walk outside naked????/   
**park chanyeol is straight:** oh right true ok ill get dressed  
  


_ park chanyeol is straight has left  
_ _ minseok ✌️️ has left _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok thank u for reading :-)
> 
> hmu on twitter @ uitbaozi im too lazy to link it sorry


End file.
